


Why? The Galaxy Within Me - by ExoAmiK

by Exoamik



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-10 20:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exoamik/pseuds/Exoamik
Summary: Naruto's life is turned upside down when 3 years ago he realized he was always in love with his best friend. His life goes into a spiral of self-abuse, depression and self-hate. Has Sasuke not reciprocated his feelings? What has made The bubbly happy-go-lucky blond so explosive? (Slight OOC Naruto, only because of his not so happy and uplifting persona in this fic) Keep reading! (posted on fanfic first, but considering it will entail some rather more mature elements, I decided to take it here so I wont get reported, and just leave the edited/ less explicit versions on fanfic. Check the chapter Author notes to be sure which ones are edited or not on fanfic!





	1. The Constellations

**Disclaimer** \- I Don't own! All characters belong to Kishi, this is just my own story with use of his characters, obviously. That would be how fanfiction works lmao.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Why? The Galaxy Within Me  
**

(A Novel by ExoAmiK (Ami K.))

Why.

A one worded question that we all seem to ask during the roughest parts of our lives.

A question and an answer all in the same.

Why. Why? Why...

Look around inside your soul, inside of who you are and tell me what love has done to you.

Has it moved you?

Has it changed you?

Has it strengthened you?

Has it hurt you?

Has it done all of that?

What is it, anyway?To feel this word 'love'?

Why is it not only a word, but an emotion? Why is it not only an emotion but a way to live? Why is it not only a way to live, but the only reason why you're living?

Naruto lay outside - the darkest of nights, the early morning before the sun came up. It was around 3am when he rolled out of his bed when he awoke with his heart pounding in his chest, and decided to go out .

It was one of his coping mechanisms ever since his relapses started happening. He could never sleep anymore.

All dreams ended the same - him reaching out to that face; that same face that haunted him in the best and worst way possible.

"Sasuke."

The air moved and whistled softly around his figure as he lay on the cold frosty grass outside his childhood apartment in Konoha. Nights like these reminded him of why fall and winter were his favorite seasons.

"The cold numbs me." Naruto faintly whispered, as the rustling wind around him picked up his words as they were breathed out, he hoped they would fly off like weightless leaves, and reach a certain someone.

He closed his eyes with his hands resting behind his head.

The night was quiet, and the only lights that were visible from his side of town were the stars.

Opening his eyes, his gazed fixed on a certain constellation. It's figure resembled the one in his heart.

Him.

The reason Naruto was out here in the cold, shivering, pleading with the fall weather to make it end - to numb his pain.

This constellation was what brought him and his soulmate together.

Although these days, it didn't seem like Sasuke would remember, Naruto could never forget it.

Not even for a second.

Figuring it was enough numbness to get him through the rest of the night, he said one last goodbye to his constellation and headed back inside.

Living alone didn't make the pain any better. Naruto tried to make every day good and stay positive, but as time grew, he had only managed to have one good day a week, and the rest were awful and full of relapse.

Adding to that, it was getting harder to pretend he was happy. His smiles started fading more and more, and he had started becoming more distant towards Sasuke since about a year ago; and since 5 months ago, it only grew worse.

But it wasn't like Sasuke didn't know the reason Naruto became like that.

He knew.

Although it was vague - Naruto told him several times in an attempt to be honest with his best friend,and to be honest with himself.

Sasuke just didn't seem to care.

At least not anymore..

It happened 3 years ago.

That's when Naruto's life changed for the better, and for the worse.


	2. Where It Started

**November 7 2012**

They were seniors in high school. Naruto and Sasuke . The inseparable pair; two peas in a pod.

Even though their personalities were completely opposite, it seemed to only balance them and complete the pair.

What Naruto lacked ,Sasuke picked up for, and vice versa.

They would always be seen together. Wherever Sasuke would go, Naruto was never too far behind.

**Sasuke's POV**

"Sasuke!" Running to room 63, Naruto chuckled, knowing his best friend would be there waiting for him, as he did everyday.

Looking up from his notes, Sasuke found Naruto rushing towards him with a big grin plastered across his face.

He smirked. It always lifted his mood to see Naruto like that. Always perfectly content and happy.

Glancing at his watch, he breathed "What dobe. You're late." Sasuke smiled mentally.

"I just got invited to the _biggest_ party of the year! And you're coming with me!" Exclaiming in exhausted breaths, Naruto made his way to his best friend.

Sitting on the table in front of Sasuke he put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, continuing to grin.

"You mean like a date? Sorry, Naruto, as much as Itatchi would _love_ for me to start dating, I'm pretty sure dating _you_ isn't what he had in mind." Sasuke smirked.

"Are you sure about that? I have everything a guy OR GIRL could possibly want in a relationship! I'm the full package!

Besides, I'm pretty sure Itatchi would be happy if you dated a damn cardboard cutout as long as u stopped mopping around here alone." Laughing, Naruto weakly punched Sasuke in the same shoulder he previously held.

"Tch. Idiot." Sasuke laughed weakly. "I'm not mopping, and I'm not alone. I have you, remember?" He jokingly winked.

Although he never showed it, this is what Sasuke craved about their relationship. It was so easy to joke around about any,and or, everything. It was so comfortable it was almost like breathing.

"So you'll go out with me then, Sasuke Uchiha!?" Bating his eyes Naruto let out a hearty laugh. He held his stomach still grinning at his best friend. It had always been like this with them.

Always felt like home.

"Ugghh" Rubbing the back of his neck, Sasuke sighed heavily. He was never one for huge gatherings of people he didn't care about. Ever since him and Naruto were kids,

they were always treated differently. Either because his family had too much money, or because Naruto's family didn't.

Or because - ...

Sasuke rubbed his hands over his eyes, furrowing his brows.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You always do this. You can't keep bottling stuff up Sasuke. I'm your best friend, you have me. You've _always_ had me. You can talk to me about anything. No, you _should_ talk to me about _everything!"_ Naruto exclaimed, flailing his arms. "You're going to make yourself sick holding all that crap inside all the time." Jerking up from his seat on the table, Naruto slid a chair over to sit slightly in front/side by side with Sasuke. Their knees touched - neither pulled away from the contact.

"Tell me." His voice seemed to grow a pitch deeper, as his level of concern for his best friend erased all previous thoughts of the party.

Sasuke breathed heavily locking Naruto's gaze with his own.

"These people have wanted nothing to do with us our whole lives, and now, all of a sudden they want us to hang out with them and pretend that nothing happened? Bullshit."

Naruto sighed worriedly, holding Sasuke's gaze. "I Know. I know it's weird for you, but it's already been a few years since they've accepted us-"

"Accepted you."

"Sasuke."

"It's not easy for me Naruto."

"I know it isn't. But you've always been pretty popular. They accept you too now."

"Well I'm sorry Naruto, but a few years of them being fake towards us doesn't change the past."

"It doesn't" Naruto rested his hand on his best friend's shoulder. " But at least we can try to be positive regardless." He smiled. "Oh! And by the way, I brought you a tomato! And how 'bout we go for ramen later?" he smiled genuinely, trying to cheer Sasuke up.

Sasuke just gazed at him.

To anyone else, it would seem as if Sasuke was uninterested. But Naruto wasn't anyone else. He knew what it meant. He could read Sasuke better than he could read his high school textbooks, let's be honest.

Sasuke chuckled and shook his head in amusement.

His constantly stern features seemed to always soften when around Naruto.

This was what Naruto meant to him. He always made the best out of every situation.

"Hn." Getting up from his seat next to Naruto, Sasuke walked over to the large full wall windows that the class room had.

It was where him and Naruto first met.

That same classroom.

They were both broken kids, coming from broken homes.

**Flashback**

Naruto snuck into Konoha's high school one night to steal some Ramen. He hadn't gotten his monthly allowance yet

(He had received an allowance from Konoha's Mayor ever since he lost his parents in a fire. Despite his desperate circumstances,

no one offered to take care of him after it happened; he'd been left alone to care for himself with the exception of the monthly allowance).

That fateful night, Naruto was hungry, and had no where else to go. Everyone treated him badly because he was an orphan, so going to someone else for sustenance was out of the question.

He had run out of food a few days prior and it began to be too much to bear.

Coincidentally, Sasuke broke in a few hours earlier to get away from his brother.

He loved his brother more than anything, but on nights like that one, Itatchi acted irrationally.

He began drinking after him and Sasuke's parents passed away in a car accident a few years earlier. He didn't drink often. But when he did, it was because he was remembering the night it happened.

Itatchi always blamed himself because he was in the car with them, but he was the only one who survived.

Drinking, crying hysterically, breaking things - it was all he could do to cope with the loss and guilt.

He never hurt Sasuke, he would never do anything like that. If anything, he'd lock himself in his bedroom, so Sasuke didn't have to see everything he went through.

On good days he could pull himself together and hold it in, but that day was not a good one.

It was a constant thing for Sasuke, whenever his brother got like that, he would leave for a few hours, only returning when he'd known Itatchi would be calm.

And to be honest, Sasuke couldn't handle hearing his brother like that. It hurt too much.

Itatchi would never let Sasuke comfort him.

Figuring it was just to protect him, Sasuke never took it the wrong way. He was just worried...

Even though he was a young boy then, he wanted to protect Itatchi.

After his drinking episodes, he would find Itatchi sprawled out on the kitchen floor covered in small scratches with bruised knuckles.

He wanted to do something to help, but there was only so much he could do. He was only 7.

That night, Sasuke wanted to do what he could to help his brother.

And his plan: to break into the high school to get some medical supplies from the nurses office.

Konoha high was located not too far off from his family mansion. Nothing from his school would be enough to actually help Itatchi, so he decided to go to the second best place.

It was the least he could do. Sasuke always tried his best to gain Itatchi's love and approval no matter what. He just wanted to show him how much he was grateful for everything he did for Sasuke.

No one could know about Itatchi's outbursts or they would separate him and Sasuke.

In his small mind he figured it was what it meant to take care of someone. To protect the only thing that was precious.

Wandering through the halls with his phone's flashlight on, Sasuke searched for the nurses office.

The school's floors were covered in white square tiles, with low bluish white office ceilings and dark blue metal lockers. Though it didn't appear from the outside - this school in itself was pretty big for a small town Highschool.

Rustling noises from one of the storage pantries near the cafeteria kitchen caught him off guard.

He didn't have time to get caught.

That would cause trouble for him and his brother's already messed up situation if Sasuke were to get in any major trouble.

And breaking and stealing from a public, State taxed Highschool, weren't exactly job requirements for getting on Santa's nice list.

Evading the noise, he turned the opposite way, heading swiftly and soundlessly to the nurses office.

The white compartments and exam table, gave heads up that he finally reached his destination.

He didn't have time to waste, he needed to get in and get out - considering he knew for a fact he wasn't alone.

The top drawer on the left of the exam table was cracked open and he could see it contained all the supplies he was looking for.

Gauze? Check. Tape? Check. Alcohol pads? Check.

After gathering his supplies he put them into his dark blue backpack and walked around a little.

He knew Itatchi would be out of it ,probably, no less than all night. Which gave him plenty of time to spare in the meantime.

Whether that was a good or bad thing, depended on the day.

Sasuke never liked to be alone. But it seemed some sort of twist of fate always made it become that way.

His parents left him to die. No matter what they just couldn't wait for him, could they?

His brother - although he tried to spend as much time with Sasuke as he could, he had to keep up his work and maintain their family company.

Sasuke rarely saw him much.

Nights Itatchi got off of work, Sasuke was either already sleep or about to head off. Not that he could sleep much anyway. His dreams were filled with nightmares of his past, and his future.

"When I get older, I guess I'll come here" He breathed quietly. Walking around he noticed from his peripheral - Stars.

Turning his head, Sasuke looked into what appeared to be room 63.

There were windows covering the entire left wall, and from where he stood all he could see was the galaxy.

Almost like it was raining down on him. Or begging him forward.

"Ramen! Yes I'm ready!" He heard yelling coming from inside of the room.

Almost like a reflex he graced inside.

To this day, Sasuke never understood what pulled him to that voice inside that small but spacious room.

It seemed almost like it belonged to him - not as in it felt like his own voice, but as in a voice from someone else that seems to mesh so perfectly with his own being. Like the voice - it was a part of him.

Reaching the voice, he saw the owner of it - a blonde boy around his age - sitting around 5 cups of unopened ramen,

one which he was currently devouring, not seeming to notice Sasuke.

"Have you never eaten before? I'm sure it's not going anywhere." Sasuke chuckled to much of his own surprise, as he never was much talkative , let alone was he known to laugh.

Sitting next to the blonde on the floor right next to the windows, he relaxed with his legs folded, hands resting behind his back on the floor.

Looking up at the then obvious other person in the room, Naruto frowned "I actually haven't eaten in a while.." He sat his ramen down and whipped his mouth with the back of his hand.

As soon as his frown faded, his smile appeared like it - the frown, never happened.

Like awakening.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki! Nice to meet you!"

"Sasuke." He smiled a faint but noticeable smile. He noted what the blonde said, and felt a little ache of pain inside at the words. Though the smile and burst of joy from the other eased his concern.

What was this feeling he felt?

He was... content..?

For once in his life he knew what it felt like.

Contentment.

And God be real, in that moment it was like a rush - of pain to let go, and of pleasure to hold on.

He'd never let his guard down before enough to feel that.

"It's pretty isn't it." Naruto broke the silence glancing out the window at all the stars.

"Hn." Sasuke joined.

They sat there for a while. It wasn't awkward. It was a perfect endearing silence.

Each other's presences seemed to fill the unknown voids they carried within each other.

Inching closer, Naruto sat side by side to Sasuke, their arms brushed lightly. Neither moving away from the contact.

"That one looks like you" He grinned pointing up at the constellation.

Sasuke didn't say anything. Because in that moment - everything stopped.

Who was this person that seemed to move him?

Why was he here?

Why did they meet?

Why did time seem to stand still when they were together?

Why did all his problems fade away with just one smile of his?

"Why." he stared at Naruto. That moment seemed to last forever.

Just enjoying being together.

It seemed like He knew him all along. And maybe all the questions and answers he had, belonged inside of this blonde - bright eyed boy..

Rubbing his eyes, he lay on his side, resting his head on Naruto's thigh.

Both watching the constellation - The same one that seemed to bring them together.

Before he knew it , he fell asleep, not realizing until it hit him how exhausted he was from earlier.

From life in general, even.

He had never fallen asleep so easily, so peacefully.

"Thank you Naruto."

**Flashback End**

Though he didn't think Naruto would remember - Sasuke would never forget.

Not even for a second.

That was the day that changed his life for the better, and for the worse.

Naruto's happiness might've been never-ending.

But the only reason Sasuke could ever smile, or laugh was because of Naruto.

He was his light.


	3. Impact

**Naruto's POV  
**

Saturday rolled around the corner faster than Minato's flying raijan.

As much as Sasuke didn't like to socialize with random people, he had eventually - much _not_ to Naruto's surprise, agreed to accompany him to the party that evening.

It wasn't a surprise because that's pretty much how their relationship worked; although they had different interests most of the time, they would enjoy and participate in each other's enjoyments.

Give and take.

Naruto eyed his outfit for 6th time that night, standing in front of his bedroom mirror.

He didn't really understand what compelled him to dress up extra nice tonight, but the past few days he'd been feeling weird towards Sasuke.

He would find himself wanting to be closer to him and would get extra anxious if he didn't get to see him for a few days.

It was like he thrived off of his best friend.

He had always been pretty needy towards Sasuke and vice versa, and they didn't care much to make close relationships with other people. They were perfectly fine with just each other, always.

But it just seemed different now, like more intense.

He didn't understand it. He never felt this way with anyone else.

Of course Sasuke wasn't just anyone, he was his best friend. No one else could even come close to Sasuke and what they'd been through together as kids, as teens, and now as the young Adults they were. But in the sense of how things were now, He felt like their relationship was expanding. Like if it was even possible for them to get closer, they were becoming more close.

Sometimes Naruto would feel bad, like maybe he was pushing it and expecting too much. Or giving too much of himself without it being reciprocated. But In small ways Sasuke would randomly, out of the blue show that he needed the same things Naruto needed from him, and it would ease Naruto and erase those negative thoughts he had.

The friends grew into being with each other constantly, so being apart was kind of alien.

Fixing his hair a bit with some gel, Naruto grabbed his phone off the tall dark mahogany dresser and shot Sasuke a quick text.

"I'm leaving now, be there soon babe;)" He smiled at himself.

He was excited to see his friend. They hadn't been able to meet up since they went for ramen the prior day.

They talked on the phone sometimes, and texted, but it wasn't the same as physical contact.

Naruto couldn't place why he was feeling that way. He just knew he had always thrived from his best friend, and recently it had started to surface more and more.

Or maybe it had always been like that and he just started noticing it.

Either way, it was an alive and well part of him, and he just wasn't sure if it was okay to be so co-dependent on someone else. He knew Sasuke wasn't just _anyone_ else, but...

"I don't know.." He sighed, scrubbing his hands throughout his hair, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

Sasuke did reciprocate well, so he didn't need to be so up his own ass about the whole thing. He didn't understand why he was making such a big deal about everything anyway.

He grabbed his jacket off his desktop chair and headed down the stairs and out the door.

A red jeep wrangler sat altruistically in the parking lot.

He had saved up and finally bought it at least half a year ago, from months and months of working at the local construction site on Yondaime Street.

He didn't work construction anymore, although it paid pretty well and helped Naruto get by through a lot of his financial troubles.

These days he worked as an editor for the world famous novelist, Jiraya Sanin.

He was a mentor of Naruto's father before he passed away, and saw Naruto's potential when he had a writer's workshop at Konoha High one year. Ever since he read the blonde's work, he decided to take him as his editor first, and apprentice later.

Although Naruto didn't think much of his own writings, and did it for school mostly and occasionally as a hobby, Jiraya saw what Naruto couldn't. And figured he'd owed it to him to help him mend his craft, being Minato's son and all. Besides, altogether he pretty much liked the kid.

Getting in his car and closing the door, he felt his phone buzz from his right butt pocket. Unlocking , he noticed it was a reply text from Sasuke.

*Shivers*

Naruto got that feeling in his gut again.

It always happened when he got a text or call from his best friend, or whenever he would see him around unexpectedly without fair warning.

What a weird feeling, he thought to himself. He didn't understand it, but he kind of liked it.

It was almost like a high he never got down from - being with Sasuke.

He opened the text, "Tch, just don't be late dobe."

He smiled, starting the engine he made his way to Sasuke's place, singing loudly some old pop favorite of his from some random station he had programmed in his radio.

He was in such a good mood.

Tonight was going to be a good night. He'd get to hang out with Sasuke and have a good time at the party together.

That's all that mattered.

Nothing could bring him down.

He drove into Sasuke's driveway, and much to his expectance the gate was already open for him.

Sasuke appeared out of the darkness and knocked on the passenger side window for Naruto to unlocked the door.

"Shit! You scared the Christ out of me." Naruto jumped holding his chest. Blowing out a faint laugh of amusement, he reached over the passenger seat and opened the door.

Sasuke chuckled, " Not a man of God anymore, Naruto? I have more impact on you than I thought."

"Jashin is enough for me." Naruto jokingly put his hands up. "Good to see you, I missed you."

They locked eyes, and Naruto gave Sasuke a genuine smile.

"Hn." Sasuke sighed as he climbed into the car shutting the door as he turned from Naruto's gaze to look out of the front window. "Let's get going, we're going to be late."

"For one who doesn't like parties that much, you're pretty good at rushing me to get there."

"Dobe. That's only because I want to get there as soon as possible so we can leave as soon as possible."

"Of course you do." Naruto laughed, starting the engine and backing out.

"So what you been up to." Naruto asked, making his way into a double lane. The house wasn't that far from where they were, even though it was on the other side of Konoha, since the city in itself wasn't that big.

It would only take them about 15 minutes or less to get there.

"Nothing much... I _do_ have to tell you something though.."

"What's up?" Naruto slowed down at a yellow, glancing back and forth from the road to Sasuke.

Sasuke breathed out and raked his fingers though his hair.

"You okay? Is everything okay? You look nervous." Naruto said casually.

He was used to everything about Sasuke. His best friend wasn't in such a mood that it could be something too bad that he seemed nervous about.

It could be something as little as his test scores or work it seemed.

Or at worst it could be, Itatchi..

"Hn. I uhh.." Was all Sasuke managed to get out as they made their way onto the street that the house for the party was.

Naruto opened his phone to check the address, and drove a few more houses before finding the right one and parking by the curb.

Stopping the car and pulling out they key, Naruto turned to give his full attention to Sasuke. Maybe it hadn't been the right moment for him to start feeling it, but it was happening.

Just looking at Sasuke was giving him all kinds of chills he couldn't explain. Just looking at him relaxed him and gave him peace.

It was a pleasure far beyond anything he could put to words.

He tried for it to not show on his face, but he figured Sasuke could read him just as well as he could read Sasuke. Besides it's not like he was trying to hide it so much. He never hid anything from Sasuke.

"So..what's up?" He placed an endearing hand on Sasuke's wrist and gave it a squeeze.

"Maybe I'll tell you after we leave." Sasuke breathed.

"Are you just trying to get out of going to the party?" Naruto joked outwardly, but inside he knew. If it meant a lot to Sasuke he'd do anything.

Leaving a party for an important talk was nothing to him. Anything that was important to Sasuke, was important to Naruto.

He'd do anything.

"Ha. ha. Very funny. Can we just get in and get out. I really don't want to stay here that long. I had a long day."

"We don't have to go in, if you want we can just head back to my place and get some rest." Naruto said, concern and understanding washing through his voice.

"Trying to get me in your bed on the first date, Naruto? I expected more from you." Sasuke smirked, breaking his wrist free of Naruto's grip and getting out of the jeep. Naruto following not too far behind, laughing.

He reached Sasuke, putting his arm around his best friend's shoulders. "We'll leave as soon as you give the word."

"Ok, let's go." Sasuke jokingly started turning around back towards the jeep.

Naruto barked out laughing. "Stop! You're killing me."

Sasuke only smiled a thin, genuine smile, eyeing his best friend. "Hn."

They walked into the party and were immediately immersed in a sea of bodies and loud vibrating music.

Few lights were on in the house; the only good lighting coming from colorful party strobes. The strobes lit up the darkness at random intervals, giving second- long glimpses of people moving, shaking, and grinding their bodies together to the loud music.

Naruto grinned. Grabbing Sasuke by the wrist, he pulled his best friend without warning to the large living room area where everyone seemed to be lost in.

Engrossed in each other like an ocean of rhythmic bodies, people hadn't time to notice the pair's addition to the scene.

Naruto and Sasuke stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by everyone else. A quick, accidental push from some random girl dancing, had Sasuke and Naruto almost squished together. Sasuke grabbed onto Naruto's shoulders to find his balance, and their eyes locked.

Everything stopped like slow motion for Naruto. It all seemed so surreal; only like moments you would've seen in movies.

Him and Sasuke.

They kept close together despite the option and free will to pull apart, only separated by a few inches as they began dancing to the music.

Naruto could tell, Sasuke was relaxed a lot and let Naruto and the music guide him. His more commonly shut down personality and body seemed so fluid and free in that moment. Naruto almost felt jealous.

On any other occasion he was the _only_ one who was allowed to see Sasuke like that, and now everyone in the room was witnessing it too.

It wasn't fair.

But even so - in that moment it felt like even though there were tons of people surrounding them , moving and dancing to the music - only Naruto and Sasuke were there, no one else. It didn't seem like anyone noticed or cared what Sasuke was doing enough for Naruto to be too jealous, but he couldn't help it.

Smiling widely at one another, they touched each other. Sasuke sometimes holding onto Naruto's hips or waist, and Naruto doing the same.

Bodies close. Dancing in sync with the music. Only inches apart.

Naruto almost felt light headed at the amount of contact him and Sasuke had in that moment. Glancing shortly around to the other people in their vicinity, he was glad that he was the only one Sasuke's attention was directed on.

"Fuck yes." He felt to himself. This is heaven. This is heaven.

Minutes later the song finished and the bodies died down and scattered around the house to grab drinks, hook up, or talk to friends.

Naruto and Sasuke still stood in the middle of the floor, smiling, panting and gazing at each other; Sasuke's hands on Naruto's hips and Naruto holding onto Sasuke's biceps.

Naruto couldn't remember a time recently where Sasuke looked so carefree and happy. With all the stress he was under from school, his brother and their family business, it was rare these days to see him relax and put down his guard.

Naruto absorbed this moment like his life depended on it.

Because, maybe it did. Maybe his life depended on Sasuke.

"Sasuke! I didn't know you were coming!"

A cry came from not too far behind Sasuke, breaking him and Naruto's physical contact and their gaze.

Moving his eyes to look over Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto found a random pink haired girl making her way towards them.

Sasuke stiffened.

Naruto could tell the change in him immediately, just by slight body language alone. Almost on instinct, without even thinking , he knew he needed to get Sasuke far away. Because, whoever this person was, she was not having a positive effect on Sasuke. And that was unacceptable. It was Naruto's job to protect him from these kind of situations, and Sasuke always did the same.

Grabbing Sasuke by the wrist, Naruto ushered him into the opposite direction of the pink haired girl, moving fast so she wouldn't see or catch up to them through the sea of other bodies.

Without comment or hesitation, Sasuke ran along with Naruto.

Before he could process it, he felt that he wasn't holding Sasuke's wrist anymore.

They were holding hands.

Running through the house to find another exit, they somehow by magic, reached the kitchen and slowed down but continued to search.

Houses on that part of town weren't far off from Sasuke's mansion when it came to how big they were; they were lucky they didn't get lost, especially since it was practically dark all around, exception of random pops of color from the lights.

Small beads of sweat glistened off of Naruto's and Sasuke's bodies from the dancing and running all over the place.

Without thinking, Naruto found himself eyeing his best friend's glistening skin, watching the trickle of sweat make it's way from his forehead to his cheek. Lifting his hand to wipe it away, Naruto noticed Sasuke's gaze run from his eyes, down to his throat and back up.

The blonde lifted his eye brows in question. Neither said anything.

The temperature around them seemed to spike at alarming rates.

*Smash*

The sound of something breaking broke them out of the contact.

Looking around, Naruto managed to find the kitchen's back door that led outside.

Finally.

"Let's go." He smiled to Sasuke as they walked casually out of the door and searched for Naruto's jeep in the darkness.

They still held hands. It didn't feel awkward in the slightest.

It felt natural, and pleasurable. Like laughing when you're sad, or crying when you're happy.

Finding the jeep, they broke the contact as Naruto got in his side of the car and Sasuke got in the passenger.

They closed the doors, Naruto starting the engine and turning on the heat to warm them up, considering the night began to get cold and a small drizzle started coming down.

"I'm sorry I brought you here. I didn't know there was someone coming that you didn't want to see." Naruto began, turning to Sasuke who glanced back but stayed silent.

He looked nervous and a little sad.

"But why I don't know about this is what concerns me most. Sasuke, we tell each other everything. So why do I feel completely left out, like something really important just happened but I don't know what it is. It's not fair to make me feel this way." Naruto pouted. And his constant negative feelings of him giving too much and expecting it back started to resurface.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. It just happened today, I was going to tell you after the party." Sasuke shifted nervously in his seat.

"Alright." Naruto smiled. "how 'bout we get out of here and go back to your place and talk?"

"Hn." Sasuke rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. The rain began to pour harder on the car and almost send vibrations through him.

"Don't worry. Whatever it is, we'll get through this okay?" Naruto breathed, starting out from the curb and onto traffic.

They reached Sasuke's house in complete silence. But it was a good silence.

Naruto figured Sasuke just wanted time to rest or think through whatever happened and was going on. He hadn't opened his eyes once since they left.

Parking close to the gate, Naruto left the engine on and keys in the car.

Finally opening his eyes, realizing they arrived, Sasuke unbuckled his seat belt and turned his head - sad eyes looking at Naruto.

Pleading silently.

"I'm engaged." He swallowed hard, biting his lip and immediately looking away - staring out of his passenger-side window.

Naruto sat there, brows furrowed. Still. Looking at Sasuke.

They sat in silence for a few moments until Naruto let out a almost silent laugh. And then it grew.

He laughed.

Tears falling down his face, unaware of them even there - he laughed.

He stopped abruptly, sadness showing from every crease and inch of his face.

"What...?... No... Really?.."

"Itatchi set it up today. It's for political reasons, so our stocks can go up or some shit.

The girl's family owns a large company as well, and Itatchi thought the two of us together would increase our shares for both companies.

It's pretty fucked up. I had no idea he was going to do this Naruto or I would have told you. It just happened today." He turned to Naruto, the pleading engulfing his voice and his eyes, searching for validation, acceptance of the situation, understanding, or comfort.

But Naruto just sat there in silence, not even looking or trying to meet Sasuke's gaze anymore.

He rested his head against the back of the seat with both his hands gripping the steering wheel for dear life - his fingers beginning to fade color.

"Oh... Wow... Wow... I just-" Tears continued to stream down his face. He not once noticed them.

Sasuke reached out to touch Naruto, but before he could make contact, his phone rang.

Pulling back he grabbed it from his jacket pocket and noted that it was Itatchi. He answered.

"Yeah I'm out here with Naruto... Yeah she was there.

I didn't go with her, I went with Naruto... Hn... Ok fine, I'll be in in a second." Hanging up, he put his phone back in his pocket.

"I gotta go, Itatchi's pretty messed up tonight. But I'll call you later when everything dies down, okay?"

"Yeah." Naruto still looking dazed, but managed to turn towards Sasuke and give him a small smile of reassurance that he wasn't mad. At least the tears had stopped.

Sasuke hesistated to leave, smiling back but still noticing the space the new information had put between him and Naruto.

He wanted to hug him or show some kind of apology about it all, but before he could say or do anything else, he got another call from Itatchi. Picking up, "Yeah, I'm coming..." He sighed opening the passenger door, and sliding out.

"Bye Naruto, I'll call you tonight."

Naruto shook his head and waved as Sasuke left the car, slamming it softly behind as he ran the short distance from the gate to his front door - trying not to get too soaked by the rain.

Naruto sat there for a while, alone in the darkness as the night grew darker and the rain grew heavier and heavier around him.

He didn't know what he was feeling, but he felt almost empty.

He knew he was in shock, but he couldn't understand why. He knew Sasuke hadn't wanted to get engaged, but it still didn't change the fact that he was, and this was going to change every aspect of their relationship.

He was going to lose his best friend.

After a few more minutes of him sitting there with his hands on the steering wheel, looking out the window. He backed up , and headed out onto the main street.

And then it all came out.

He began to cry. Fully aware of it now.

Choked up gasps and loud cries escaped his throat as he drove the rest of the way to his house.

He could barely see through the tears in his eyes, along with the added rain.

His head was so messed up in that moment, he could barely function.

Letting out another long, deep gasp - his body shaking from grief, he began to take the last the turn to get onto the road to his house, not noticing the light was red.

Naruto only saw a blinding white light before his car was smashed on impact - his body slamming into the side door, head hitting the window - almost instantly blacking him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note :
> 
> sorry this chapter took so long for me to put up! I've been pretty busy, but I'll try to allocate two days a week to just writing so I can get them out sooner. thanks to everyone for reading and for the reviews, considering this is my first fanfic - the fact that people actually want to read it is amazing. I love you guys! xoxo


	4. The Awakening

When I think of happiness, all I can see is Sasuke's face.

When I think of all the reasons I've smiled, every scene that plays in my mind involves him.

From the first time I laughed, Sasuke.

The first time I remember genuinely smiling, Sasuke.

My first kiss -

Err.. Naruto scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. He chuckled to himself.

"No need to feel weird about it. Sasuke never felt weird about it." Whispering to no one in particular, the blond smiled - feeling at ease.

Throughout my whole life, everything that's happened , all I can see is Sasuke's face. Why have I never realized it before that I need this person to survive? Why have I never realized it until now - when I can't have him anymore...

sitting up in his window - side hospital bed, Naruto sighed, looking out the window onto the crowded parking lot. The area was full of ambulances pulling up, bringing in more patients, while old patients with healed bodies were cast outside to live their lives.

Everything leading up to him being in the hospital was a blur. He had no recollection of how he'd even gotten there in the first place.

All he remembered was what happened the night before... And that memory in itself - he didn't even want to think about, realizing he was still in too much shock to come to actual terms with it. Even so, he could feel it inside himself, that once his initial shock was over, the hurt from the whole thing would hit him like a ton of bricks.

Maybe he was a dumbass for getting too emotional over it. But being a dumbass, it didn't mean he wasn't entitled to feel emotions.

And what he felt was real.

He Just wasn't sure why or when he started feeling like that. But it was real.

Confusion swallowed him whole.

Trying to wrap his mind around it was stressing Naruto out. It was just so much to handle at one time. It felt like everything from over his entire life with Sasuke was hidden, and now it was being forced out like vomit.

It was making his head hurt, trying to think everything through and figure out just what exactly was going on with him.

The blonde figured he didn't really have to worry about why he was feeling that way right now, just to focus on the fact that he was, and go from there.

A knock on the door snapped Naruto out of his thoughts, as a nurse with bright eyes smiled and walked over to his bed, ready to give him his medicine for the day.

Flicking the cap off a syringe, she pushed the air out and skillfully stuck the needle into the IV, emptying the medicine.

By some sort of miracle, Naruto not only managed to end up with minor damage from the crash, but managed to only have few scratches exception of his head wound from hitting the window.

The ER. had managed to stitch up his head way before he was actually awake and aware of what was happening, and suprising he was healing rather fast. It would only take about a week before he was ready to be discharged.

"You feeling okay? Is anything hurting you?"

Naruto smiled, trying to push his previous thoughts and feelings down... "I'm fine..." Forcing a small smile, he added ".. just a little headache."

"Well that's normal hun." The nurse said cheerfully.

She was a bright young lady with short, light brown hair and a skip in her step! She reminded Naruto a lot of himself. But only the him that he was when Sasuke was around... Otherwise he was a mess. And he could tell it was starting again. Just like when he was a child..

"You're lucky you don't have worse things wrong with you, young man." she shook her hand at him in a playfully stern way.

"Yeah. I guess you're right..." Naruto chuckled, fading off into light thought.

"Oh! Uzumaki!" The nurse caught herself before exiting the room - tapping her index finger to her forehead like she had just remembered something important.

"Someone came by earlier to see you. But at the time, we weren't letting anyone in until you were fully conscious."

"Oh?" Curiosity peaked in Naruto's voice. "Who was it?" Maybe it was Jiraya, he thought excitedly. At least he had one person who still cared about him if not Sasuke. Someone who he could turn to, and possibly lean on while he was feeling so vulnerable and raw at the moment.

"He said, he was your brother?"

Ouch. Not what he was expecting.

"Sasuke." Naruto sniffled out of sheer reflex for what he was feeling - what was building up.

"I see."

Breathing out, the blonde turned his head away from the nurse. He didn't understand why, but he felt sick. Going down on his side with his back towards her, Naruto shut his eyes, controlling his breathing. He wasn't trying to be rude, he just didn't feel well anymore.

She nodded her head figuring he was still tired physically. Hell, she would've been worse off if she got into a wreck as bad as he did. She exited the room completely, turning off the light and closing the door with a slight crack.

Naruto sighed.

All he could hear now was silence. Darkness and silence. It enveloped him now.

It always ended up like this for him. Except for when Sasuke was around.

But not anymore.

Tears welled up in his eyes, beginning to fall from the corners, warming his cold cheeks.

No matter how hard he tried to push his feelings aside, even the smallest things could trigger them back up.

Brother? Really? That's all Sasuke thought of him as after all those years?

Fuck that.

Fuck it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Sorry it took me way too long to update! I know this chapter is super shortish, but that's only because I split it into halves. I've already finished chapter 5, I just need to edit it. So don't worry about clif hangers, it should be up later lmao. And thanks for all the reviews, it really does put a smile on my face and make me happy and give the push I need to get the chapters out sooner. Especially with how I've been feeling these days. I love you guys! Thanks for reading, I really do appreciate it.


	5. The Engagement

**Sasuke's POV**

It was late Friday night and Sasuke found himself in bed - a white cotton comforter covering most of his body, only exposing his toned pale skin from a few inches bellow the collar bone and up.

He shifted a bit , adjusting his position, before he settled down.

Sigh.

He knew his nights were constantly growing worse, but there wasn't much he could do about it anymore..

Earlier that day he had made sure he got all his errands, homework and business signings out of the way so he could go to sleep early that night.

Tomorrow was really special, so getting rest was adamant. He might not have admitted it to the blonde, but he was excited they were going to the party together.

It would be his first time going partying.

He always tended to leave Naruto to those kinds of things, but this time was different.

And besides the party, he wanted to spend the whole day together.

It was just aggravating that now, the only time in the world when he actually needed it, he was having a really hard time falling asleep even though he was tired.

Pulling the covers down lower, Sasuke searched for his phone underneath. Finding it, he turned on his side to get more comfortable, unlocking it to see the time.

2:30.

Fuck.

Sighing, he mentally wished things were like how they used to be. He would never admit it out loud, but he missed it when Naruto and him used to share a bed at night.

"That's not weird at all, Sasuke." He whispered to himself, trying to give himself excuses.

Nowadays His dreams were mostly bad, and his nights mostly restless without the dumb blonde there.

He would admit it to himself, but _only_ to himself of course, and sometimes Naruto, he needed his best friend.

Although they were older now, he still wished Naruto was around even at nights, otherwise his sleep was almost non-existent. And besides sleep, it was just extremely comforting for him to be around - all the time.

Twirling his phone around a few times, he quickly speed dialed Naruto's number, giving himself no room for hesitation.

"Mmmm Sasuke." Naruto groaned, surprising Sasuke, who on the other line was beyond glad his best friend answered, despite how late it was.

"Dreaming about me, dobe?" Sasuke replied, almost immediately feeling better just knowing Naruto was on the other line.

Rubbing his eyes Naruto, stretched under the sheets and moved the phone closer. Still eyes closed, but paying full attention to Sasuke now.

"I'll always pick up when you call, if that's what you're worried about. It doesn't matter what time, I'll always pick up." Naruto exhaled softly, he could read between Sasuke's banter. He could tell what was bothering him, even if he didn't say it.

"It's late, are you okay? Can't sleep?"

"Yeah.. couldn't sleep." Sasuke shifted, moving his neck from side to side - restless.

"Want me to come over?"

"That's dumb usratonkachi. We haven't slept in the same bed since we were kids." Sasuke shifted, almost boarder-line nervously. But he wasn't nervous of course, even though he knew himself that he was lying.

He wanted him to come over. He wanted his anxiety, and sleeplessness to fade away in the presence of Naruto, but it was already too late in the night. He didn't want Naruto to come all the way there just for him.

Naruto laughed, "Yeah, since we were like 14. It's not a big deal if you don't wanna Sas. I just thought... I don't want your nightmares to get worse again.."

"I'm fine... Just.. don't hang up okay?"

"Of course baby. Never." Naruto smiled through the phone - Sasuke could hear it in his voice. His once exploding nerves began to calm, and he finally felt himself drifting off to sleep.

"Shut up, idiot." Sasuke smiled.

Thank you, Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke woke up the next morning bright and early, feeling rejuvenated.

He sat himself up in the bed, the covers drifting down to his waist, and noticed Naruto was still on the line from last night..

"This idiot really didn't hang up," he thought, and smiled.

"Hey Idiot. You up yet?"

"mhhmmm." Naruto replied groggily in a light voice. He yawned and stretched, adding "I'm gonna go back to sleep, you hang up first."

"Who said I wanted to hang up,dobe. I'm going to shower." Sasuke climbed out of bed, beginning to pick out his clothes from his grayish silver, modern style dresser. Him and Naruto had matching Dressers, just different styles to fit their different personalities.

"Okay that's good and all, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Naruto laughed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, forcing himself to wake up more.

He didn't know why Sasuke was being so attached that morning, but he liked it. These were the moments that Naruto loved, and got excited for.

It didn't happen often, but when it did, it meant everything to him.

"Just talk to me, duh. Tch, idiot."

"Riggghhhhttt..." Naruto's eyes opened as he woke himself fully up and climbed out of bed.

"Hey! stop calling me idiot, teme."

"Okay dumbass."

"You're the dumbass, dumbass."

"Tch." Sasuke laughed lightly.

Naruto joined, stretching his arms up. He figured he might as well get ready, that way he'd be showered and dressed around the same time Sasuke finished, and hopefully hang out with him for the rest of the day.

Sasuke made his way into the bathroom, turning the shower on waiting for it to heat up. He sat at the side of the tub, and turned his phone on speaker.

"Excited about tonight?" Sasuke asked, beginning to take his clothes off.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto perked up, "Thanks for agreeing to go with me. It's gonna be a blast!" He walked into the bathroom, orange and black pajama pants hanging low on his waist, showing his defined muscles in his abdomen.

Turning the faucet on, he got out his toothbrush and toothpaste and began brushing his teeth with one hand while holding the phone with the other.

He was so happy.

Falling asleep to Sasuke's breathing just made life better.

And then waking up to him still on the phone, just made the better life even better.

He couldn't stop smiling. He felt like he could conquer the world.

"Tch. It's not a big deal.." Sasuke smiled.

He wasn't good at expressing it, but he liked to make Naruto happy.

Climbing into the shower, Sasuke hissed at the new found heat on his body. Grabbing his phone from off of the edge of the tub, he placed it in the shower window, away from the water so it wouldn't get wet, but close enough so he could still hear and talk to Naruto.

"You okay?" Naruto's voice seemed to grow an octave deeper..

"Hn. Just wasn't ready. The water was hotter than I thought." Sasuke began lathering himself up.

Naruto could hear the amount of relaxed that Sasuke was, just by his breathing.

Naruto's movements grew slower as he found himself listening intently to Sasuke on the other side.

He didn't know why, but he was feeling really lightheaded just knowing Sasuke was... Naked and soapy on the other line.

Shaking his head, he tried to get those thoughts out of his brain.

He felt disgusted thinking of his best friend in that way. It made him feel like the worst person. But recently, he started feeling weird about Sasuke, and he couldn't help it. It just kept growing.

He didn't dislike the feeling so much, it was just kind of odd. And he felt bad, like he was hiding it from Sasuke.

So he made a promise to himself that he would talk to Sasuke about it that night after the party. Sasuke would never judge him for what he was feeling, Naruto knew that. Naruto wasn't even sure what it was that he was feeling, considering he'd never felt that way before and it was so foreign to him, but he knew it was a good idea to talk to his best friend about it.

He finished brushing and threw some water over his face, trying to cool his spiked temperature down.

"Mmm fuck yes." Sasuke moaned as he hit a sore spot on his shoulder that was bothering him the last few days. The water seemed to give his muscles the umph he needed to sooth his aching.

Naruto's eyes widened at hearing that, nearly dropping his phone.

"*cough cough*"

"Naruto? You still there?"

"*Cough* yeah... I umm *cough* I should uhh."

Sasuke broke out into a light laughter. His best friend was such an idiot. But always managed to keep a smile on his face and laughter in his lungs.

A knock on the bathroom door broke Sasuke out of his laughter.

"Hurry up Sasuke we have business to attend to today."

"Hn." Sasuke replied over the shower water, not sure whether Itatchi would've heard him or not, but he didn't bother repeating himself or saying anything else.

He knew he needed to start being more involved in their company since years ago.

Compared to Itatchi, he was nowhere near to where his brother was as far as company status at Sasuke's age, but he felt like it was a lot of pressure on him to be this amazing Uchiha clone.

And everyone would be looking at him, comparing him to his older brother. It was just a lot to deal with along with school.

He was really hoping he could just hang out with Naruto all day up until the party.

It was the fucking weekend for Christ sake, Sasuke just wanted to relax with his dumb idiot. But apparently Itatchi had other plans.

Very unfortunately.

"Itatchi?" Naruto managed to get breathe out, after skillfully composing himself.

He pulled off his pajama pants and boxers and got into the shower, placing his phone in the soap rack on speaker, turning the water on while he was inside.

"Yes. Apparently we have plans today."

"Awww, is my Sasuke upset? Wanted to hang out with me instead didn't you?" Naruto teased in a cutesy voice.

"Shut up dobe. I'll see you tonight though, I need to get ready." Turning off the water and wrapping his towel around his waist, Sasuke grabbed his phone and walked out of the shower and over to the sink and mirror.

Wiping the fog off of the mirror, he gazed at his reflection.

"Okay." Naruto grew sour, chewing his bottom lip. His upset feelings bleeding through his voice.

Even though he teased, he wanted to see Sasuke as soon as he could. It had been way too long since they hung out.

"Ok. So, you gonna hang up now or just sulk?"

"Shut up, bastard." Naruto chuckled, feeling a bit better. Sasuke always knew how to lighten his mood. "I'll leave you too it then. See you later." Naruto beamed.

"Hn." Sasuke breathed, and they both hung up.

Sasuke stood fully up, leaning his back against the bathroom door - Just staying like that for a bit longer, smiling to himself.

He was so relaxed, and His mood was so much better. Itatchi had better not ruin it.

He loved his brother, but when it came to business and the company, he knew Itatchi had his best interest at heart, but the way he went about dealing with things just... made Sasuke stressed and anxious.

He just hoped he didn't have to deal with a lot today, and could excuse himself early enough to hang out with Naruto before the party.

* * *

Sasuke and Itatchi sat outside in a black limo, in front of a place with red carpet lined stairs, and golden framed glass doors - what appeared like a restaurant?

Sasuke's brows furrowed.

He was definitely confused.

Itatchi said they had business; he made no mention of them having dinner.

In any case, it _coul_ d be a business dinner.

Sighing inwardly, he clicked his seat belt off and ran his fingers through his hair - implying to Itatchi that he was ready to go inside.

He just wanted to get it over with, he was mentally and physically exhausted from the past week ,and just wanted to see his best friend.

"This is an important meeting, so be on your best behavior. No outbursts." Itatchi broke the silence as he fluidly offed his seat belt and reached for his briefcase.

"Outbursts? Tch, I'm not 12 Itatchi. I can handle myself just fine." Sasuke scoffed.

He really disliked it when Itatchi would treat him like that. He might've been his older brother, but that didn't change the fact that Sasuke was a senior in high school, and could easily manage running half of the company on his own.

He didn't need to be treated like a child. He felt it demeaning.

Itatchi just eyed his brother and smiled. "Otouto," He placed a loving hand on Sasuke's head, ruffling his hair a bit.

Sasuke frowned, but reveled in the contact. It still comforted him, ever since he was little.

"Just know, everything I'm doing is for you is for your future and for your happiness. I just want you to remember that."

"I know." Sasuke sighed.

He had always known this from his brother, and he loved him for it. It was just hard to handle the way Itatchi did things. But, life.

He shrugged.

They collected themselves, exiting the limo as the chauffeur opened the doors for them.

The two walked out of the black limousine, up the red carpet lined stairs, and into the 5 star restaurant.

Immediately entering, Sasuke noted the high ceilings with beautifully hanging yellow gold and diamond colored chandeliers.

They were greeted by a worker and were immediately ushered to a table which already seemed to have occupants at it.

"Must be the business clients." Sasuke mentally noted, but furrowed his brows after noticing one of the occupants was a young woman who appeared to be a bit younger than him.

"Hn."

The dinning area contained an intimate few tables with beautifully draped cream tablecloths.

A cellist and harpist who happened to be located at the far end of where the brothers were currently located, flooded the small dinning area with quiet sounds of peaceful music.

Warmth.

A bright pink haired young woman, and an older, interesting haired man with a beaming smile sat at the table Sasuke and Itatchi were ushered to.

Itatchi reached out his hand to shake the older man's, "It's good to finally meet you Mr. Haruno. This is my brother, whom I was telling you of, Sasuke." Itachi nodded his head towards his brother.

Sasuke pulled his hand out of his pocket to shake the other man's hand.

All the while, the pink haired girl seemed to never take her eyes off of Sasuke.

He didn't miss the looks she gave him.

"So annoying." He mentally sighed, making a note to just agree with whatever Itatchi would say that evening, that way the night would go faster and he could escape.

"This is my daughter, Sakura!" Mr. Haruno exclaimed putting his hand on Sakura's right shoulder.

Sasuke nodded blankly. He didn't understand why she was here for a business deal. It was so out of the ordinary - all of it was to be honest.

What was Itatchi thinking? Sasuke turned his head, eyeing his brother questioningly. Itatchi just shrugged.

Him and Itatchi went to take their seats on the opposite end of table from the other party - Sasuke in front of Sakura and Itatchi in front of Mr. Haruno.

"I took the liberty of ordering us some wine, red and white. 'Didn't know your preference." Mr. Haruno commented smiling at Itatchi.

"Either is fine, Mr. Haruno -"

"Kizashi. Call me Kizashi." He interrupted Itatchi, proudly.

"Hn." Itatchi smiled elegantly.

"From what I was telling you," Itatchi began, as their wine and a few glasses were brought and poured.

Although Sasuke and Sakura were both underage, they were both very well accustomed to being around and indulging in alcohol at company parties. However, neither parent nor guardian much agreed with it, but it was sometimes how things worked.

So in this circumstance, Itatchi and Kizashi opted to the contrary and allowed them some sparkling water.

"Sasuke is at the top of his classes. He's also very athletic. "

"Hmm! I see." Kizashi shook his head enthusatically, seeming to be very happy about what he was hearing.

Sasuke looked back and forth from Kizashi and Itatchi, feeling very strongly, that he was missing something...

He was very confused as to why his brother randomly decided to talk about him during their dinner. Wasn't it a business arrangement?

What did it have to do with Sasuke's academic accomplishments?

Sasuke sipped his water slowly, listening intently when suddenly he felt a kick under the table.

Looking up , he noticed the pink haired smiling. Her cheeks turned red as she gave him an attempted seductive wink.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, internally cringing.

So fucking annoying.

"He's also excelled tremendously in our company at such a young age. I'm very proud of him. He could easily run the northern branch at this point by himself, and ultimately take it over. We talked about it a few times, and he told me he could handle it, but I just want him to enjoy his years as a teenager as much as possible right now. He already has so much on his plate." Itatchi said after taking a swing of his alcohol, lovingly rubbing the back of Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke just gave a welcoming nod. He felt happy when Itatchi would be warm towards him. He rarely got to spend a ton of time with his brother, and enjoyed moments like that one where he showed his happiness towards him, instead of pressuring him and making him anxious.

Of course Itatchi never did those things on purpose, it's just kind of how things worked in Sasuke's brain.

"Yes, yes. That would be best." Kizashi smiled. "I can't say Sakura is very accomplished when it comes to knowing the ropes of our company,"

Sasukra shifted in her seat, obviously a bit embarrassed at her father's statement.

"but she is to inherit it once she turns 20. That's why I thought this arrangement between her and Sasuke would greatly benefit both of us." Kizashi finished, rubbing his hands together seriously.

Sasuke's head immediately snapped up. What the fuck was he hearing? He shot a look at Itatchi.

"I'm sorry, what arrangement exactly?" He knew this whole ordeal was a bit fishy. Itatchi was keeping something from him. What the fuck.

"I failed to mention, Otouto"

"Itatchi." Sasuke bit out.

"We are arranging for you and Sakura here, to be engaged." Itatchi met Sasuke's glare with a warm glance, "Our head of business researched a bit and came to the conclusion that an engagement of both heirs of two of the biggest finance companies in Konoha would ultimately result in sky rocketing of stocks. You both could be well off into retirement at age 30 or younger." Itatchi finished, searching Sasuke's face for something important he needed to confirm.

Sasuke stared at Itatchi with a questioning, hurtful look. Anger building slowly but surely.

"Me. Marry her? HAHAHA" Sasuke threw his head back, grabbing his stomach, howling out laughter - much to Itatchi's surprise.

"Not. fucking. interested." Sasuke's face almost instantly went back to it's original stern blank features, as he began to rise from his seat, removing the napkin from his lap.

"You've pulled a lot of shit before Nisan, but this is crossing the fucking line. It's _my_ life! Who gives a shit about whether I have enough money or not if in the end I'm not actually happy. I might as well just die for that matter, because that's not a life worth living. I don't care about money Itatchi, you should know me better than that." Sasuke spat out.

"I do know that very well about you, Otouto." Itatchi said calmly, resting the back of his hands fingers intertwined, underneath his chin

"And what about Naruto?! Did you even once think about him when you decided to play games with my life!?" Sasuke added as he fluidly tossed his napkin on the table.

Sakura and Kizashi sat mouths wide open, shocked at the outburst.

"And what does Naruto have to do with this, Sasuke?" Itatchi turned his head slightly sideways.

Got it. He smirked. His brother was so clueless it was almost painful. He wished Sasuke could've figured these things out on his own. Itatchi sighed.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!"

Sasuke cleared the area, walking out of the dinning hall and completely storming out of the restaurant.

He couldn't believe Itatchi would do such a shitty fucking thing. What the actual fuck.

Sasuke was beyond livid, and honestly really hurt that his brother would take his life choices, and one as big as marriage so casually.

It was _his_ life to live, not Itatchi's.

Sasuke would be the only person in charge of who or whoever he wanted to marry in the future, and it sure as hell wasn't that annoying pink haired.

No way in hell.

And he'd be damned if he married for fucking money, who would do that? Fucking shallow.

"What the fuck Itatchi." He whispered out, exasperated, rubbing his temples trying to calm himself down.

He just needed to go home, right now. Later he would make sure Itatchi knew for a fact he wasn't going to go through with it, then he'd hang out later with Naruto at the party. It would be fine.

It would be fine, he just needed to calm down.

He pulled out his phone from the inside of his suit jacket pocket, checking the time.

It was a lot later than he realized. He wasn't even _almost_ ready to meet Naruto.

He had to get home and showered and changed.

Walking down the stairs of the restaurant, he hailed a taxi.

Getting in, he felt his phone buzz , but ignored it.

Itatchi could fucking wait, he needed to calm down some more before he did something he would regret. Sasuke wasn't even close to ready to talk to Itatchi.

He just couldn't believe him.

And what the fuck did he mean 'what about Naruto?'

Naruto had _everything_ to do with everything! What would his best friend think if he knew Sasuke was engaged?

Sasuke began panicking.

Rubbing his hands through his hair, he exhaled deeply.

Resting his head on the back of the taxi seat, he closed his eyes. It was a habit of his when he felt overwhelmed.

He'd explain everything to Naruto later tonight.

He'd understand.

He'd understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I know I said I had this chapter finished, which I did. But I've been pretty depressed lately, so editing it was kind of hard to get it to. I wanted to finish editing it for Sasunaru day. soz. Thanks for waiting for it to be up though. I just wanted to back track and let you guys see exactly what happened as far as the engagement. We'll fast forward next chapter! enjoy


	6. It's All My Fault

**Sasuke's POV**

* * *

 

"I gotta go, Itatchi's pretty messed up tonight. But I'll call you later when everything dies down, okay?"

"Yeah."

Naruto still looking dazed, but managed to turn towards Sasuke and give

him a small smile of reassurance that he wasn't mad. At least the tears had stopped.

Sasuke hesitated to leave, smiling back but still noticing the space the new information had put between him and Naruto.

He wanted to hug him or show some kind of apology about it all, but before

he could say or do anything else, he got another call from Itatchi.

Picking up, "Yeah, I'm coming..." He sighed opening the passenger door, and sliding out.

"Bye Naruto, I'll call you tonight."

Naruto shook his head and waved as Sasuke left the car, slamming it softly behind as he ran the short distance from the gate to his front door -

trying not to get too soaked by the rain.

He reached his porch, noticing he door was already open - Itatchi waiting on the other end with stern features plastering his normally subtle face.

Sasuke walked in, closing the door behind him, keeping his hands on the knob and resting his back and head against the door.

He was so over that whole day. He couldn't deal.

Exhaling deeply, Sasuke felt his anxiety reaching it's peak, and Itatchi wasn't making it any better.

Why the fuck did he have to call him when he was in he middle of an important talk with Naruto?

First he ruins his whole day, then he ruins his time with his best friend.

Sasuke just couldn't deal with it right now. With any of the bullshit.

Itatchi looked Sasuke over, sighing heavily.

"Come. Sit, little brother."

Pushing himself off of the door,

the pair walked over to the open kitchen, Sasuke lifting himself to sit on one of the stools at their long blue and white marble Island.

"Why'd you call me. You knew I was going out with Naruto tonight. What, was it your point to ruin that too?" Sasuke started, aggravated and not even trying to mask how angry he was with Itatchi.

Not only that, but Itatchi called him like it was the end of the world and he'd die if Sasuke didn't make it in the house in time.

And now, not to anyone's surprise, especially not Sasuke's, now that he was well and comfortable in the house, Itatchi seemed perfectly fine.

Sighing heavily, Sasuke thought to himself, Just why the fuck was his brother being such a manipulative bastard today.

It fucking pissed Sasuke off.

Balling his left hand into a fist under the table, he tried to calm himself down enough to have a rational talk with Itatchi, and say what was needed without anger clouding his speech.

Itachi walked over to the cupboard, grabbing two glasses and poured some ciroc in both. Walking over to the Island, he stood on the opposite side of Sasuke, making the Island the only distance between them.

Handing Sasuke a glass, he began to drink from the other.

Sasuke leaned his right forearm on the Island, putting his weight on his right side. "What's the occasion? You never like for me to drink." Sasuke asked tiredly, trying to ignore the fact that Itatchi had seemed to let all of Sasuke's previous questions go in one ear and out the other.

He was really tired of being treated that way. It was starting to get old and Sasuke was on his last thread.

Grabbing the drink from the counter, Sasuke poured back, downing half of it in one gulp. He wasn't complaining his brother gave him something, in fact he was glad, it was just what he needed. Sasuke was just... curious.

"Figured you could use it after today."

"HA" Sasuke howled out a hearty - short laugh, "No shit." Throwing his head back, the raven downed the rest of his alcohol. Sighing heavily after, he rubbed the palms of his hands over his face.

"Of course _you_ would understand the reason I'd need it, considering _you're_ the reason." Sasuke smirked darkly. Adding, "So enlighten me Niisan, just what the fuck were you thinking today?! How could you do this to me?!" Sasuke's voice began to break down. He couldn't admit to himself how upset he was, but it poured out in his voice without warning.

"I was going to talk to you after our meeting, but you left. And when I got back you were gone.."

"Meeting? Meeting my ass you lying fuck. More like your little game with my life." Sasuke firmly placed his glass on the marble counter, beginning to get himself up from his seat.

He was so past done. He had to hurry and talk to Naruto, he promised he would finish their talk that night.

"Sasuke, sit down. I'm not finished with you." Itatchi firmly sated.

Sasuke eyed his brother, figuring he could spare to listen to what he had to say considering he was very eager to learn the reason Itatchi decided to play with his life. Besides, he had to let him know anyway that he wasn't going to through with the engagement.

Of course.

"What." Sasuke spit out. Sitting back down, he turned to face his brother, looking him in the eyes, searching for every reason not to hate his beloved brother. Waiting for the right answer to give him an excuse to let it slide. Looking for the right words for it all to blow over.

"Well, after your little outburst tonight, Kizashi called me to see if everything was okay and if we were still going to go through with the engagement," Itachi stated, taking a swig of his alcohol.

"You told him no right?" Sasuke asked sincerely, walking towards his brother. "I will _never_ marry her, Itatchi. You told him right?" Sasuke pleaded.

Looking to his brother for the protection that he always gave him his whole life up until now. Searching to try and find it, to make sure that he was still the same brother he looked up to since he was little. The same brother that took care of him after their parents died, protected Sasuke from harm, from everything bad.

"You don't even know her.. It doesn't make sense that you would feel so strongly about not being with or even getting to know her at least... Unless of course, you already love someone?"

Sasuke stared blankly at Itatchi but said nothing.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke finally broke the long silence, honestly confused. His voice losing it's anger, flowing in instead was restlessness and pain. No more anger left.

Just hurt.

"Besides," Itatchi ignored Sasuke's last comment, noting Sasuke's reaction. "my point is, I told him yes."

Sasuke's face twisted in response, resembled the most pain you could ever witness in one human being.

Innocence and ache.

He couldn't believe his brother would do this to him. He hoped Itatchi would say or do something to reassure that he was still the same brother who kept him safe, but at this moment, he was like an entirely different person.

He didn't know who this stranger was.

Sasuke couldn't even say anything. He was blank, but everything he felt was written all over his face in the darkest ink.

Itatchi shifted, sighing and continuing, "Afterwards, he said Sakura went out tonight and said she saw you but you turned away from her. Is this correct?"

"I don't have anything left to say to you." Sasuke said softly, Staring off into space.. His body was feeling heavy and his anxiety was in shambles, he could hardly stand properly. It was building up.

"You need to start treating her like your fiancé, Otouto. Whether you like it or not, you will be engaged to her. Even if you don't end up marrying her in the long run, you will stay engaged until three years.

That's final.

It will last until around the time when she will inherit her father's company, and you will inherit the northern branch of our family's company."

"Money right?" Sasuke voice croaked.. He turned his head away from his brother, he was beyond disgusted. His eyes began to well up, unable to hold it in any longer. He pushed his body up slowly, starting towards his room. He needed to take his medicine before he had a panic attack on spot.

Itatchi grabbed Sasuke's arm, attempting to finish the conversation.

"That's all you care about right? Because I thought you actually cared about me." Sasuke yanked his arm out of Itatchi's grip.

"And I'm sorry, at this point, I don't want anything do with this company _or_ you." Sasuke placed his hand on the stairs rail with his back towards Itatchi.

"Sasuke this has more to do with you and your decisions, than it has to do with you being engaged or stocks rising. I'm trying to help you figure things out that you want to ignore. That you've been ignoring for years. It's time to grow up."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sasuke shifted, feeling a little heavy from the alcohol, considering he was a lightweight.

"Okay, keep lying to yourself. But Naruto isn't going to be there forever waiting for you to figure things out. So be engaged to Sakura. Then you'll realize it for yourself."

Sasuke stood still, trying to understand what his brother was getting at. But he could barely concentrate at that point.

Sighing, "It's getting late." Itatchi sat his glass down on the table eyeing his baby brother.

"What are you talking about? I don't understand what you're talking about." Sasuke began walking up the stairs slowly.

"Just accept the engagement. This way you'll understand things faster. Everything I do is for you Sasuke. I'm doing this because I _do_ care about you. Not the other way around."

I doubt that.

* * *

Sasuke woke up with a pounding headache. Grabbing his head, he could barely stand the sunlight pouring into his room and pulled the comforter over his head.

He began replaying the occurrences that happened the prior day.

Sigh.

How more fucked up could his life get at this point.

Feeling around in his bed, Sasuke searched for his phone, not even remembering how he got to his room last night. All he remembered from after he got back home was the conversation he had with Itatchi.

"Ughhhhh." he moaned quitely.

His brother made no sense last night. Whatexactly did he mean figure things out with Naruto?

And Sasuke couldn't put two and two together concerning what him and Naruto had to do with him being forced to get engaged to some random annoying girl. ?

Grabbing his head, he tried to brace himself - moving little by little.

He needed to call Naruto asap and straighten things out, never having the chance to finish talking to Naruto about everything.

He wanted to last night, but Sasuke honestly didn't even remembering going to bed.

Shit.

The pounding in his head began getting worse, he felt sick.

Itatchi knocked softly before entering with a glass of water and a few pain killers. Walking over to the bed, he held slight uneasiness in his demeanor.

"Otouto... I have bad news." Sitting the water and pills on the bedside table, he took a seat at the edge of Sasuke's bed.

"What.." Sasuke mumbled underneath his comforter, head still aching.

"Well.. Naruto was in a car wreck last night, he's in the hospital."

"WHAT!?" Sasuke immediately jerked up, shock written all over his face - immediately grabbing his head afterwards, regretting the sudden movement.

"Ahhhh fuck. Fuck, Itatchi, this is all my fault." Sasuke pleaded, shuffling his covers off and moving to get up.

"Don't pity yourself Otouto, you had nothing to do with it."

"I did! Fuck, I have to go and see him." He attempted to get up but moaned in pain, cradling his head in his hands, trying to deal with the massive ache, he could barely move fast enough.

"You are in no condition to go anywhere right now, take these and I'll go and make sure everything is fine." Itatchi motioned toward the pills and water.

"No. I have to go." Sasuke's voice grew in panic, filling with choked back tears. "Ahh fuck." Managing to get up, Sasuke toke the pills and water in one gulp and went through his dresser to find something quick to pull on.

"Otouto, calm down. I'll go"

"So you can ruin that too? No thanks, I'm going .. ahhh." He tried to move as fast as he could through the pain and nausea.

Throwing on some sweats and a hoodie, he took out his tooth brush and paste and walked towards the bathroom, pausing every no and then to cradle his head.

That was the worst shape Itatchi had ever seen his brother. Sasuke was usually beyond composed, but in this moment he was so open and exposed, emotions flying everywhere, sniffling through constant tears falling down his face.

It was a once in a lifetime sight. He only ever saw Sasuke that messed up last time Naruto ended up in the hospital, when they were kids.

Of course.

They were inseparable after all. Naruto would've reacted the same - even worse to be honest.

"Okay. Go and wash up a bit. I'll be in the car waiting for you." Itatchi left him to it and went out to the car.

Meanwhile, Sasuke went into the bathroom, washed his face and brushed his teeth the fastest he could.

Slipping on the nearest shoes he could find, Sasuke ran down the stairs despite his massive headache.

Running out the door and into the car with his brother, Sasuke put on his seat belt, lifting his hoodie over his head.

He leaned his head against the door, as Itatchi began to pull out.

They arrived at the hospital in under 7 minutes. Sasuke wasting no time in getting out the car and running into the hospital before Itatchi could even put on the parking breaks.

Itatchi sighed, watching his brother go. He didn't even close the car door behind him. "What a wreck." Itatchi smiled sadly.

"Only Naruto could make Sasuke lose himself in the best way."

Sasuke reached the nurses office with Itatchi not too far behind.

"Naruto Uzumaki's room!" He blurted, out of breath.

"Yes, we have a Naruto Uzumaki here. Who are you?" A young nurse responded, not seeming to notice Sasuke's pained state.

Sasuke thought frantically - quickly.

They probably wouldn't let him in to see the idiot unless they were family.

Saying the first thing that came to his tongue -

"His brother! I'm his brother!" Sasuke panted, hair matted to his forehead from the misty dewy morning air, and his anxious perspiration.

"Okay wait one moment, alright?" The nurse said with a smile, picking up the phone, she said something brief to whoever was on the other line and hung up.

"I'm sorry Sir, we aren't able to let any visitors in, not even family, to see Mr. Uzumaki yet since the patient is still unconscious."

"Unconscious?!" Sasuke dropped to his knees.

His head was spinning out of control. This was all his fault.

Naruto was really upset after they parted last night. If he hadn't left Naruto in that condition, none of this would've happened.

Small sobs escaped his throat, as he cradled his head in his hands, unable to believe he hurt his Naruto like this.

Itatchi reached him finally, grabbing his little brother firmly in his arms.

"It's not your fault. It's mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Guess who's back from the dead! lmao. Sorry this took long for me to update. Expect more chapters soon, since I'm feeling the ailments! Yay to depression aiding your writing. :)
> 
> Also, I know you guys might kind of hate Itatchi rn, lmao but try to read between the lines! And I know I said last chapter was the last one to be kind of from the past, but I had to make sure u guys knew what happened after he saw Nart. Next chapter for sure will take off of Naruto in the hospital and conscious.
> 
> Until next time ya fakes! 3
> 
> -Ami


	7. Chapter 7 - Inner Thoughts Like Tar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WOW lmao I'm sorry I haven't written a chapter in forever. I've been going through a lot. I don't even know if you guys still want to finish reading this fic but yeah. I want to give a shout out to an anon reviewer who left the longest, most thought out review ever. and it made my day. I literally grinned from ear to ear. thank you for being so invested in this story. It means a lot and gives me the push I need to keep ongoing.
> 
> Soooooo I broke this chapter into two parts because it's really late and I'm going to the city early in the morning. so this isn't it. I promise I'll post the next part tomorrow (or tonight if I end up staying up).
> 
> I love you all.
> 
> Leggo.

**Naruto's POV**

Naruto awoke, gasping for his breath, darkness surrounding.

"Fuck. Not again," grabbing his temples with his left hand, the blonde slowly sat up leaning on his left elbow, remembering his current situation, constantly replaying in his head over and over, this place that only existed in his memories.

A smile, a hand, a voice..

_His_ smile, _his_ hand, _his_ voice.

"Sasuke."

It had to be at least 2 am at this point. This constantly had been happening ever since the nurse had told him of Sasuke's 'visit.'

He still couldn't believe what was happening, he couldn't believe he was losing his place with Sasuke.

It all was just too much to handle, too much all at one time.

He grimaced.

"If I even had a place to begin with." Naruto sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes.

Sitting up in his hospital bed, the blonde opened up the blinds at his bedside window to look out into the night sky.

Those past few days all he could think about was Sasuke.

Of fucking course. What else would he be thinking about, his grades?

Memories of him and his best friend, his other half even, kept creeping up into his mind during the most unwanted times.

Uzumaki laughed weakly.

He didn't understand what was happening to him, why he was feeling this way,

but he couldn't stop it to save his life. And even if he could stop it, he didn't want to.

It was too good, it was too beautiful.

He cringed even at the thought. What was happening to him...?

Staying in that hospital for all those days gave him time to think and to really grasp what he was feeling and why.

Why.

A question we always ask at some of the hardest and happiest times of our lives.

Why was he feeling that way?

Naruto lie back down, making sure he lay right under the moon, so it could shine on him and give him peace. That's all he could hope for.

So, what in fact, was he feeling?

He knew he loved Sasuke since they were young, but he understood now that this wasn't just friendship love anymore. And he didn't know when it started,...maybe it had always been there but he just began to realize it?

He shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts out. Because even if it had always been there it didn't matter did it.

It didn't matter now.

Because it was too late.

Too fucking late.

"Fuck. why."

The blonde hissed at the moon, salt water burning his eyes.

He was angry.

It didn't matter if it had always been there because fuck did it hurt now.

Angry with himself, with his feelings, with Sasuke.

\- To understand that you love someone, and right when you understand these feelings, the person you love gets taken away.

"Why does life have to be like that. Why do we have to suffer in this world."

A warm tear left Naruto's eye to stain his cold cheek.

He needed sleep. So he would sleep and hope for a better tomorrow.

* * *

The sun shone brightly through and into hospital room #7, pulling light into every corner.

-Almost a mirror image of what Naruto was to other people.

At his bedside tying his shoes, the blonde waited to be brought his discharge papers.

Today was finally the day he could get out the damned hospital. Naruto had shot Jiraya a text earlier that morning seeing if he was in town to come and pick him up from the hospital.

Luckily the old perve had taken a break from his 'research' to come and see Naruto after he heard what happened. Jiraya would have rushed to get there sooner, but he couldn't catch a flight.

*Bzzz

Uzumaki lifted up from tying his black and red tennis that Sasuke had forced him to get a few months ago, since Naruto's old orange ones started falling apart.

"Ahhhh.." Naruto closed his eyes at the memory.

Even memories hurt at this point.

Reaching into his back pocket, the blonde pulled out his phone, noting a text from Jiraya stating he was at the hospital and would be up to his floor in a few minutes.

Returning the phone to his pocket, the same spunky nurse from last, peaked her head in to tell him he was free to leave.

"Fina-fucking-lly."

He smiled at her, trying to erase everything he felt from showing on his face.

She didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, his million dollar smile seeming to work wonders to fake his happiness as usual, and handed him some hospital papers, "There you go Mr. Uzumaki," she smiled, "And be more careful next time. We sure don't want anything really bad to happen to you. You were really lucky this time sprout!" She chuckled, turning to leave the room.

"Well maybe I do want something bad to happen to me." Naruto thought, immediately putting his hands up to his mouth in shock.

He didn't understand where all those dark thoughts were coming from... they just started pouring out of him like black tar, erasing every sunlight from every corner inside him. It was so unlike him.

"Hey Blondie, you gonna stand there all day or are we leaving?" Jiraya smiled, standing at the opening of the door, leaning against the frame.

"Pervy Sage!" Naruto smiled his famous mega-watt smile, big and bright enough to blind any onlooker, walking swiftly up to Jiraya he grabbed the older guy into a bear hug.

He was genuinely so happy to see his mentor after so long. It had been such a rough week, he was just so glad Jiraya was there. Glad that _someone_ was there who could be on his side.

A hug. A much needed one.

"What's with all the touchy-feely stuff bratt, you're not going soft on me after your little brush with death, are you?" Jiraya joked, hugging the blonde back and letting go.

"Long week," Naruto sighed smiling weakly as he let go, adding "And it wasn't a brush with death you old perve, it was just a car wreck."

"Well you look like you've been through hell and back... Noah fence." Jiraya put his hands up in a joking manner. The older man wrapped his right arm around Naruto's shoulders as they began to walk down the hall to the elevators.

"Really? The nurse said I looked fine." Naruto's eyes windened as he put his hands up to his face in a way to examine himself.

Jiraya noticed the uncharacteristic display... The kid seemed dazed over.. He _did_ know he was joking, right?

"No you look perfectly fine actually, you just look stressed as hell. How long has it been since you've been laid? You need to stop stressing so much. You're young kid. Live a little!" Jiraya slapped Naruto on the back.

"Jesus Christ, Perve I'm not like you." Naruto stretched his neck, rolling his shoulders. "Besides, if by some chance _do_ I look like I'm stressing, that's _sure as hell_ not why." Darkness washed over the last few words without warning. The blonde breathed out, he hoped the old perve didn't notice.

" Well kid, if it's the old jeep you're stressing about, we can get you a new one. No need to pop a vessel over something like that." The pair entered the elevator, Jiraya pressing the ground floor as Naruto leaned against the wall, hands on the rail.

He eyes glazed over for a split second imagining him and Sasuke in the elevator, pressed up agai-

"It's not that. I actually haven't even thought about the car. Ughhhh." Naruto rubbed the back of his head out of frustration.

It hadn't crossed his mind once that his car was actually wrecked. And now that he thought about it, he also had a hospital bill he had to pay. His week just couldn't get anymore worse.

"Don't test me Jashin." He whispered under his breath, glancing up to the ceiling hoping he didn't just jinx himself.

Jiraya laughed, scratching his face, realizing he just made things worse.

"Like I said Kiddo, we'll sort through all of that together, don't stress over it. I'll handle it."

"Okay." The blonde breathed.

Naruto usually wouldn't accept help from Jiraya without himself actually doing something to earn the help. Like helping edit or helping out with whatever Jiraya needed. So, the perve picked up on the the change in Naruto's demeanor, like he just agreed without question.

He knew Naruto wasn't himself, he didn't even seem like he knew what the conversation they were having was about, - like he was somewhere else.

"Okay... So, if that was never the problem, then what _is_ the problem?" Jiraya crossed his arms, furrowing his brows.

Their elevator stopped - the pair walking out towards the hospital exit doors.

Adding "And where's your little boyfriend by the way? I haven't seen him _once_ since I got here – you two are usually attached at the hip." Jiraya snickered.

"Well... he's definitely not _my_ boyfriend." Naruto bit his lip out of hurtful frustration.

"What?"

"Nothing." Naruto snapped up, " I don't want to talk about it." He flipped his hoodie over his head and zipped it up, sticking his hands in his pockets.

He still couldn't believe Sasuke hadn't reached out to him since the accident. And the fact that he called Naruto his brother. Like... ? What the fuck.

Uzumaki breathed slowly, trying to control himself. Trying to stay calm.

Just...what? a day and some change since Sasuke's engagement, and it already seemed like his priorities had changed.

He already was showing how important Naruto was to him, and apparently he wasn't that important.

Even though Naruto could've died in that accident, Sasuke couldn't fucking care less. Because now he was engaged and in love or some shit.

Finger nails dug into his palms, Naruto's breathing hiked. He needed to sit down and control his thoughts before things got worse.

They reached the perve's messed up volkswagon, filled with books and literature in the back.

They climbed in, Jiraya turned on the engine before turning to face Naruto who had buckled his seat belt and rested his head against the car door.

"Kiddo, I don't know what's going on with you, but I haven't seen you like this in years. Whatever it is you can always talk to me about it, or if you don't want to talk to me, you have Sasuke, talk to him."

Naruto tightened his jaw, clenching his fists inside his pockets. Fighting the urge to fucking punch himself.

Wait.. What?

Why the fuck did he keep thinking like that?

He cleared his throat. "It's nothing, honestly. I'm just a little banged up and tired from the wreck. I'll be fine in a day or two." Focusing on whatever he could to lighten his thoughts, the blonde looked out the passenger window.

The older man took a hard long look at his 'grandson' and shrugged "...If you say so kid." Jiraya started backing out and onto the street. Naruto had always been the type to get through things on his own.

He was a strong kid, Jiraya thought to himself.

If only he knew...

He wasn't all that strong.

They sat in silence for a little until Jiraya turned on the radio. He didn't want to push Naruto so much and figured he really did need some rest.

Attempting to level his breathing and think of other things, Naruto bit his inner cheek and just looked out the window. He wasn't usually like that, he rarely ever cried about anything.. but... He was just so hurt.

The pair drove a little while...

Naruto's phone went off in his pocket.

Pulling it out, he almost choked at the name the text was from.

Sasuke.

The blonde's heart began to beat fast and flutter.

He was so...anxious?

It was insane how just this one person could change Naruto's mood almost instantly.

…...but... he didn't want to get his hopes up if it was only going to make him feel worse. He didn't know _what_ the text could've said... but he couldn't help the feeling he got that Sasuke actually reached out to him.

That meant he was thinking about him..

Naruto smiled.

Opening the text with fingers crossed on his left hand in his jacket pocket, he silently prayed to whoever was watching him.

"Dobe... _I know you're probably mad at me that I wasn't really there for you with all of this. But I can explain everything. Come over my place today, I heared you got out. Itachi's out of town for the next few days. Let me make it up to you._ "

Well FUCK.

Naruto started grinning ear to ear.

He didn't know why he let his bad thoughts get the best of him. Sasuke was _his._

No matter what, Sasuke was Naruto's. Right?

Maybe he wouldn't even go through with the engagement. Maybe he already broke it off?

The Uzumaki got excited. He had hope.

He would fight for what belonged to him.

Taking down his hoodie, the blonde still grinning, turned to Jiraya, "Hey can you drop me off at Sasuke's."

"Sure thing kiddo." Jiraya turned to Naruto and shot him a smile and a wink.

Now that's the Naruto he knew.


	8. Chapter 8 - Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As I promised!
> 
> Part two!
> 
> and to the person who asked what's been going on with me, let's just say this has been a fucking hard ass year lmao.
> 
> And to the other reviewer who thanked me for updating, THANK YOU FOR READING WTF. 3 and Dw, Naruto's breaking my heart too sigh.
> 
> I love you guys smmmmmmmmm!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Also: This fic is rated M for a reason, so be cautious.
> 
> That is all.

  


* * *

**Naruto's POV**

"Thanks pervy sage."Naruto shot Jiraya a smile as he quickly unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

Jiraya smiled back, shaking his head in amusement. "Some things never change."

Arm behind the passenger seat, he looked out the rear – backing out.

Racing over the dark black asphalt - a foot hitting the pavement sparked a fire within the blonde. With every step, with every landing, a memory of him and Sasuke fuzzed over his mind.

Everything happened in slow motion, with a golden sun above a golden wide - grinned boy.

Running to see the love of his life.

The driveway was gated and long with a roundabout containing a huge pot of plants in the center.

The Uzumaki almost could feel his legs giving way from being so unexcersied over the last week,

but he didn't care.

Reaching the front door that had already been thrown open, the blond's eye brows raised high, grin still plastered on his face as he saw Sasuke waiting on the other side of the door , smiling at the sight of Naruto running towards him.

He was waiting for him... Waiting for him to get there.

Something inside Naruto twisted painfullu

Finally getting inside, inside of the house – inside of Sasuke's waiting arms.

The force of Naruto running so enthusiastically was so much that the pair collapsed entwined, on the ground, on impact.

Laughing, Sasuke just lay there watching Naruto. He reached out to put his hands in Naruto's hair, while Naruto still lay there with his arms around Sasuke, smiling.

The pair lay on their sides, in a fog of happiness elixir.

Naruto shifted over more close, getting up on his forearm so he could look down at Sasuke in the eyes as the raven lay staring up at the dobe.

"Hey." Naruto smiled.

"Hey." Sasuke Chuckled. "Happy much?"

"Never. Especially not to see you." Naruto joked, pushing up from his place on the ground – he sat up, grin never fading.

God he felt light headed just realizing what had happened. He was getting that feeling in the pit of his stomach, but much stronger now.. He could almost pass out at how strong his feelings were coming on for this raven haired bastard.

Fuck why was this happening.

"Ughhh" The blonde breathed, grunting almost silently.

"Come on," Sasuke stood up from his place on the floor, and started leading the way to his bedroom. "let's go upstairs."

Naruto started getting up, thoughts flooding his head of the fact that he was going up to Sasuke's bedroom, and it was only the two of them in the house... Alone.

"Ugh," Naruto shook his head, trying to expel the thoughts, walking up behind Sasuke's lead.

But as he managed to erase the thoughts, he glanced up watching the figure of his best friend - Sasuke looking back at him smiling a very faint, almost unnoticeable smile, and the blonde was almost brought to tears.

He loved him so bad it hurt.

He was in love with Sasuke.

There was no question, there was nothing to wonder about anymore.

Sasuke was beautiful and perfect. And the only person who ever thought of him or did anything for him.

He had hope inside of his bright blue eyes, that Sasuke wouldn't stay engaged.

Sasuke belonged to Naruto, and Naruto would make sure it stayed that way. They'd been through far too much for some random person to enter into their lives and ruin that. Ruin everything.

They walked in comfortable silence up to Sasuke's room, the palms of Naruto's hands getting sweatier, his breath growing heavier.

He was so nervous and excited. Just damn.

The pair entered into Sasuke's room.

It was just how Naruto had remembered it since when they were kids. He hadn't went over Sasuke's house in a while only because of Itachi's outbursts sometimes, and honestly because the two of them were busy most of the time with school and work - he hadn't made it out to come over.

Which of course he regretted.

He wished he could've spent all the time he could with Sasuke. Every day if he could...

The blonde stood by the door just taking it all in. The memories of them spending time together , playing games when they were kids, looking out at the stars and falling asleep together in that same room.

In that same bed.

He could almost punch himself in the face, reprimanding himself on why the hell he had just realized his feelings.

Sigh

"No point in getting worked up over it now." Naruto breathed as he watched Sasuke who was at the window.

"We have the rest of our lives... hopefully." He smiled, hands in his pockets.

"Hey dobe, are you just gonna stand there all day or are you gonna come over here with me?" Sasuke stood with his back towards the blonde, looking out his large sliding glass windows, the sun beaming on him as it began to set.

Walking over slowly towards his best friend, The blonde soaked in the beautiful sight of him. The beautiful sight of the golden sun over the city, engulfing Sasuke.

And not even the sun could hold a finger to Sasuke's perfection.

Naruto reached Sasuke, instead of looking out the window, he just looked at his raven.

Sasuke slowly turned his head to meet Naruto's eyes.

They smiled.

Sasuke retracted, face slowly went blank, head turned to face the outside scenery.

"Naruto...Listen.." Sasuke's eyes softened.

"I'm sorry about everything... I'm sorry you got into an accident... I'm sorry, I got engaged and didn't tell you. I'm sorry I'm a terrible best friend. I know it's my fault... It's all my fault, and I should have talked to you first, I shouldn't have let Itatchi run the entire situation, and run my life. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-" The usual short worded Sasuke blurted it all out so fast, his face tinged red, showing emotions no one else had ever seen of the raven - face softened. Remorse written all over it, covering every angle,

in waves.

He stood with his head looking out the window as the sun began to set on them, lowering down.

"Look at me Sas," Naruto moved closer to his best friend, grabbing his arm, forcing him to look him in the eye.

They met each other's gaze.

"It's fine. _I'm_ fine. Don't make a big deal of it. It's not your fault." Naruto's thoughts quickly turned to the memory of him driving in the rain, tears down his face, chest aching, out of breath -

"I just-"

"I said it's not your fault." Naruto pulled Sasuke's arm towards him, Sasuke's feet stumbling over the furry white carpet towards Naruto who grabbed him into a tight hug.

He hugged Sasuke.

Stopping him from blaming himself. Stopping him from falling back into his old habits. Just to stop him at all,

from thinking even.

"Just breathe."

Sasuke rested his chin on the blonde's shoulder, relaxing his muscles and getting comfortable – he breathed , closing his eyes.

Naruto didn't really lie.

He never blamed Sasuke for what happened.

If anything, Naruto felt like he over reacted based off of shock and undealt with feelings.

It was _his_ fault for not knowing what it was he was feeling and letting his emotions explode everywhere.

It was his own fault, _not_ Sasuke's.

Now that he knew what the fuck he was dealing with, he made a mental promise to himself to deal with it the best he could.

Whatever the fuck that was.

The pair broke apart.

Sasuke chuckled, a soft smile crossing his lips.

"Hmph. Dobe."

"Teme." Naruto retracted.

They smiled.

* * *

That evening, they did everything.

Ordered pizza, played truth or dare – a game which ended in Sasuke having baby powder in his hair.

Don't ask.

They, played board games, prank called people (Naruto's idea) (and Sasuke who just laughed weakly as the blonde had the time of his laugh pretending to be 'James bond' and God knows whatever else he was saying over those prank calls).

The two, battled to the death for hours and hours on Halo and ended up laying on the furry carpet listening to a playlist Naruto had been meaning to send Sasuke before everything had happened.

One ear bud and each of the boy's ears, laying on their backs just listening to the music.

And most importantly, they talked. And laughed.

Naruto had missed it so fucking much.

It had been far too long since they spent so much time together at one instance. It was almost sickening, how good it felt now.

Sasuke stretched, getting up from his place on the floor to close his dark red sun had gone down a long while ago, but he had just noticed.

Glancing at his night stand watch, "It's getting pretty late... Naruto... Did you want to stay?"

Naruto choked on his spit just hearing those words. Twisting his body, he coughed, putting his hand up to his mouth trying to compose himself.

He lay on his stomach facing the raven. "Y- Yeah. Yeah I'll stay... Ahem.. I'll be right back."

Excusing himself, Naruto quickly swift walked to the bedroom's bathroom to clear his thoughts.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucktiy fuck.

He paced back and forth, holding his head in his hands.

On one end he was beyond happy. Like happy couldn't even describe what he felt in this moment. And just damn - the day they had.

And now... and now he was going to stay over?

Naruto turned on the faucet, cold water pouring out tip taping on the stainless steel stopper in the faucet bowl. The sound soothed his thoughts a little.

Putting his hands under the cold water, the blonde splashed some over his face.

It was going to be okay. It was going to be more than fucking okay, actually.

It was going to fucking perfect.

Fucking fantastic.

If you would've told the blonde after a hell of a week, after finding out the person you've been in love with since God knows when it started, was getting engaged and after ending up in the hospital, if you would've told him after all of that ,that he would've had one of the best days in his life with the same person, and now...

They hadn't slept together since they were kids.. Naruto started freaking.

"No... not slept together."

He tried to fix his thoughts to become something more of what Jashin would approve.

"Like slept in the same bed... Heh."

Naruto tried to shake his thoughts. He couldn't help but feel an ache in his gut at the knowledge him and his raven would be so close.. all night.

Fuck.

All fucking night.

Composing himself, or at least attempting to, the blonde wiped his face off with one of the bathroom towels and fixed his hair up a little.

He could do this.

Walking out of the bathroom, back into the bedroom which was connected to it, Naruto noted the lights were dimmed almost - completely off. The only light coming from a dim lamp that rested on top of the dresser.

The blonde eased into the room... Noticing Sasuke on the opposite side of the bed, only the mattress in between them , back turned towards Naruto.

The raven slowly began pulling up his dark-wash t-shirt.

Naruto's swallowed – hard.

Heart sank.

What must've lasted a second, seemed like minutes to the blonde.

He froze as he saw the pale slim back being uncovered.

Fuck.

"Hey." He slowly walked closer to the bed, not even attempting to control his thoughts.

He basically was at 100 now, and there was no getting down from this.

It was now or never.

He was going to confess his feelings before he started acting on impulse, and did something he couldn't take back.

"Oi" Sasuke turned around, shirt in one hand. Wearing only his boxer briefs.

Naruto shouldn't have been surprised. He knew Sasuke didn't wear much to bed. It just... Caught him off guard. ?

The blond stood still, eyes half mast. Lips slightly apart, eyes gazing into his raven's eyes, until they betrayed him and started moving south.

He ate up the damn sight of him, letting his eyes wander on every beautiful part of Sasuke.

Fuck, he was so beautiful, Naruto was almost shaking at this point.

God, how did this happen.

He felt so guilty. He didn't even think once about talking to Sasuke earlier.

They'd been having too much fun, it didn't even cross his mind to bring up how he was feeling recently.

"You gonna just stand there Dobe," Sasuke folded his shirt placing it in his bedside drawer along with the pants he wore earlier, "or are you gonna get in and lay down?" Sasuke smirked, climbing in bed.

"Y-yeah. Righhhht.. Heh." Naruto laughed weakly, rubbing the back of his neck, he grabbed the two ends of his shirt , lifting it over his head.

Sasuke quirked a brow, noting his best friend's off body language and hesitency.

"Why do you look nervous, Naruto?" Sasuke's voice came out softer than Naruto would have liked, almost like a pur. It was doing all types of things to his psyche.

"Huh?" Naruto almost stumbled on his own feet, trying to break himself out of his racing thoughts.

Not noticing the obsidian eyes gazing all over his tanned toned physic, the blonde dropped his shirt on the floor and pulled the comforter back on his side of the bed exposing, the under-sheet and some of Sasuke's right thigh.

The raven shifted his legs wider apart...

Coming out a bit raspy, Sasuke breathed, "I _**said,**_ why do you look Nervous, idiot. ? It's not like we're about to fuck or anything."

Naruto choked.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Two can play that game, bastard.

The blonde laughed. "We're not? Are you sure about that?" Smirking, Naruto made use of his right hand and slowly , very slowly unbuttoned his his pants. And slowly, very slowly, began pulling them off.

The pair laughed.

"Idiot." Sasuke smiled and laid on his back with a hand behind his head.

Naruto climbed into bed.

Much less nervous, just really fucking comfortable, and at fucking peace to be honest.

He forgot how good it felt to be with Sasuke – to sleep in the same bed. In the same -

They just laid there for a bit in silence, before they both turned towards each other, only a breath away.

Naruto could feel the warm puffs of air coming from Sasuke's slim nose.

They looked into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry about everything." Sasuke broke the silence, adding "You're my favorite person, Naruto."

"I know." Naruto grinned.

He was on top of the world.

"You're my favorite too, Sasuke."

_I promise you that,_ Uzumaki thought to himself.

Closing their eyes for what seemed a minute.

Slow steady breaths of two - heat of the comforter blankets on them. Heat of each other.

"I love you Sasuke. I love you so much it fucking hurts." Naruto whispered.

No response.

One second.

Two.

Three -

The blonde freaked out, opening his eyes only to find the raven, eyes closed, evened breathing.

He was sleep.

Well fuck. Naruto just laughed to himself. It was okay. He'd just tell him tomorrow, how he felt.

He was so comfortable in that moment, he felt like all his troubles didn't exist.

Turning on his back, the blonde felt the pull of sleep and just let it take it's course.

**Dream sequence**

_Coming out a bit raspy, Sasuke breathed, "I **said,** why do you look Nervous, idiot. ? It's not like we're about to fuck or anything." _

_The blonde laughed. "We're not? Are you sure about that?" Smirking, The blonde made use of his right hand and slowly , very slowly unbuttoned his his pants. And slowly, very slowly, began pulling them off_.

_Climbing in bed, he reached the raven. Massaging his hands softly over the side of the raven's neck, hitting a soft spot at Sasuke's neck – the Uchiha letting out a choked groan._

_Naruto eyes rolled back in his head at the sound._

_Fucking bliss._

_Leaning down_ , _he waited for a response - a nod of approval had their lips meeting._

_Pink full lips moved with pale ones, Sasuke sucking and bitting Naruto's bottom lip, - the blonde moaned sofly._

_Picking up the movement of his lips, he almost couldn't breathe. Neither of them could.  
_

_Licking Sasuke's, he begged for entrance. Sasuke gladly opened his mouth a little as their breaths hiked. Tongues searching each other's, and feeling around the new territory. Naruto felt the heat of a thousand suns._

_Moving around the blond shifted his body to be smack in between Sasuke's legs- the pair moaned at the new closer contact. The only thing separating them being their light cotton undergarments._

_The kissing turned from searching, to needing, as rough lips met with a pale neck. Sasuke in response rocked his hips up begging for the contact._

" _Fuck Sasuke!" Naruto moaned as he began rocking harder, meeting Sasuke's movements, until their movements became like a song._

" _Ughnnnh Naruto. Fuck. I'm close-"_

_Naruto grabbed one hand to the head board, head buried deep in the crook of Sasuke's shoulder and neck as he rocked hard._

_He licked, he tasted the pale neck._

_A tan hand held onto the head board for dear life, losing all it's color,_

_a tan neck thrown back in ecstasy,  
_

_a gasp._

" _AHHHH"_

**Reality**

Naruto couldn't tell what was real from the dream at this point.

Drenched in sweat, he felt a coil in his stomach. He was going to -

"Aghhnnnnnnn Sasuke! Fuuckk" Naruto's eyes shot open, as his nails dug into the bed sheets, eyes rolled back into his skull, back arched, mouth open to silently scream out the rest of one of the best orgasms he had ever had.

"Uhhhhhhhh" Shaking his head, he bucked up almost on instinct riding out the rest of the orgasm.

Calming down, releasing his hands from their death grip, heavy breathing, only to scan his eyes over the ceiling to notice from his peripheral, obsidian eyes full of something he couldn't place glaring above him.

A warm hand on his chest.

"N- Naruto?"

* * *

**A/N:** Cliffhanger-no-Justsu!


	9. Chapter 9 - Just The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So sorry it's taken me a little over a week to update. I was literally going to finish it like the next day after I updated, but I wanted you guys to suffer a little LMAO I'm sorry I'm a terrible person. fite me.
> 
> So, no more cliff hanger. But after this chapter things will change.
> 
> And I apologize if the Character's are a bit OOC, of course Naru's going to be OOC.
> 
> But as far as Sasuke, yes he is a cold-hearted bastard, however, I mostly show him in scenes when he's with Naruto, and he's different with Naru, a lot softer.
> 
> So I wouldn't categorize him so much as OOC.
> 
> Most of you probably won't even read this because of the massive cliff hanger I left I'm sure you want to know what the fuck happens next. so here ya go! And thank you guys so much for reading and keeping up with this fic.
> 
> It means so much.
> 
> Love you.
> 
> (I'm sorry if there are any typos, it's 1:39 am and I'm just trying to get this out for you guys I know you've been waiting.)

**Naruto's Pov**

Naruto couldn't tell what was real from the dream at this point.

Drenched in sweat, he felt a coil in his stomach. He was going to -

"Aghhnnnnnnn Sasuke! Fuuckk" Naruto's eyes shot open, as his nails dug into the bed sheets, eyes rolled back into his skull, back arched, mouth open to silently scream out the rest of one of the best orgasms he had ever had.

"Uhhhhhhhh" Shaking his head, he bucked up almost on instinct riding out the rest of the orgasm.

Calming down, releasing his hands from their death grip, heavy breathing, only to scan his eyes over the ceiling to notice from his peripheral, obsidian eyes full of something he couldn't place glaring above him.

A warm hand on his chest.

"N- Naruto?"

...

"Oh shit" Naruto mentally threw himself off of a cliff. What the fuck just happened?

_Oh shit Ohshitohshitohshit_

He still couldn't mentally grasp what was going on, still coming down slightly from the high. All he knew was : he fucked up.

"Sas - Sasuke?" Slowly turning his head, the Uzumaki searched to face Sasuke.

Sasuke looked back, face stern yet soft at the same time.

Black eyes filled with... Lust? Or?

"Yeah, Naruto..." His voice came out a bit rusty, like he was holding something back.

Naruto noted Sasuke's hand still placed palm on his bare chest. The warmth of just his one hand heating up the blonde's entire body.

The amount of pleasure he was feeling just being touched like this from Sasuke.. Sasuke had never touched him like this before...

And then his hand started to move.

Sasuke rubbed his hand softly up and down Naruto's chest. "...re you with me Naruto?"

The blonde must've spaced out or something.

The raven didn't stop his movements even though Naruto was concentrated so hard on him at that moment.

Throwing his head back against the pillow, "Fuck Sasuke, if you keep touching me like that I might just come again." Naruto choked out through hollow, evened breaths, not even trying to make a joke out of it. He was fucking serious.

"AHAHAHAHA." Throwing his head back, Sasuke howled out in laughter.

The blonde weakly smiled, breathing.

Sasuke hadn't laughed like that in a while. It was nice, so beautiful, so perfect.

So wide and bright and shinning. Like the whole world was him and he was the whole world.

His laughter calmed, and he got down from his elbow and scooted closer to Naruto, placing his face almost face down in the pillow/ the crook of Naruto's neck and shoulder, still chuckling.

Naruto stilled. Trying to control his thoughts.

He couldn't concentrate. Willing his body not to fail him again.

"Naruto..." Sasuke breathed deeply before he added "Is this the first time... Has that ever happened before?"

Furrowing his brows, the blonde answered, "Definitely the first Sas."

They sat in a welcoming silence. Any other person would've been a hell-of-embarrassed and scared about what the reaction would be, but Naruto knew Sasuke better than that.

He wasn't scared so much that Sasuke would be weird about it... Well... Sasuke was being weird, but not in a negative way.

What Naruto was scared about was about finally letting Sasuke know his feelings, about what would happen if Sasuke never felt the same. And It hurt like hell just thinking about it, but he couldn't rest like this anymore. He had to get it out, it was only fair to himself and to Sasuke.

They _never_ kept secrets.

He knew Sasuke would understand why he didn't tell him right away, but that didn't make it right to keep holding it in like he was.

Closing his eyes just to rest a little, the blonde let out a hollow chuckle.

Fuck, what an orgasm. What the fuck and how the fuck did that even happen so good?

And fuck, Sasuke.

The man who hated physical contact and showing emotion was practically cuddling him. Hand still on Naruto's chest, face in the small of Naruto's neck and shoulder. Breathing.

Naruto could literally feel the puffs of air from his breathing, hitting his skin like the most beautiful acid. It burned because it wasn't his yet, but it was perfect because even if it didn't belong to him yet, it was belonging to the one he looked for most out of anyone else in the world.

The only one he looked at.

Lifting his right arm, Uzumaki placed his palm on top of Sasuke's hand, entwined his fingers with his love's.

He smiled.

What did he do to deserve this.

"I've never.." Sasuke broke, "Ive never heard that from you before... As much as we've been together, that's never happened before?"

"Never... I mean, not like this... This was -"

"Amazing?"

"Heh,,, yeah..." Naruto inwardly scratched his head out of casual embarrassment.

"Yeah, I could tell by the way you screamed my name."

They laughed.

"Shut up teme."

"Have you ever dreamt about me before? Before this?" Sasuke added.

"Always.. Just not like this... Is it weird for you? I'm sorry if-"

"It's not weird."

"Okay.." Naruto felt a weight lift off his shoulders.. he smiled weakly.

"I'm actually glad... 'Don't know how I would've felt if I heard someone else's name on your lips when you-"

"I'm sorry, W-Whhhat...?" Naruto almost broke his neck as fast as he turned his head to come to terms with whatever the fuck Sasuke was saying.

And what actually the fuck was coming out of his beautiful fucking mouth.

That dream had fucked him up, he was thinking all types of things he shouldn't have.

Thinking of doing all types of things he shouldn't. He hoped Sasuke would back off a little, as odd as that sounded, so he could control himself.

"I've dreamt about you too, Naruto." The raven exhaled deeply, as if all his stress was leaving him.

Naruto could even tell, he was less tense, more relaxed – and that was such a oddity for the Uchiha who rarely gave himself time to be vulnerable and relaxed. He was always stressed out about something, or worried about not being the best or good enough compared to his brother.

"What do you dream?"

"What haven't I dreamt?"

Naruto snorted, mentally agreeing.

"Naruto... Do you like.. masturbate?"

"Sasuke! What the fuck?" the blonde burst out in laughter. Eyes widened in shock he didn't know whether he should laugh or?

Calming down, "Well," He shifted his position in the bed, "I think you would know already if I did."

"Well yeah, it's just... We've never talked about this kind of stuff before."

"Probably because it's never happened before."

"You have a point there." Sasuke pointed his index finger, comically nodding in agreement, a small almost invisible smile creasing his lips.

"It hasnt ever happened before right? With you either right?"

"Masturbated? I've never felt a desire for it until now."

Naruto choked.

Coughing, he tried to compose himself.

"Why now?" The blonde tried to pre-calculate all the possibilities in his mind before -

Sasuke shifted from his place and positioned himself to be leaning on his elbow, right hand cradling his head.

Looking Naruto dead in the eyes, "The way you looked when you-"

"When. I?" Naruto couldn't believe what was happening. Did he actually make Sasuke feel a certain way?

Whatever way he felt, the blonde was unsure, but dying to know.

Sasuke laughed. "Yeah.. When you came...I – I've never seen you like that before... You looked like..." Searching for words, the raven furrowed his brows, "It was a beautiful side of you, ethereal. It made me feel something I've never felt before. Not this strongly before."

"Are you?"

"I think so..."

The unasked question hung in the air, becoming answered through Naruto and Sasuke's regular familiarity.

"I've never felt like I wanted to do anything before. I felt enough pleasure just being with you." Pulling his free arm up, he put his fingers in Naruto's hair – playing with it.

"Me too Sasuke. You were always enough for me."

"Yeah... but just imagine.. I've been thinking... Itachi said something to me, and I've been thinking a lot. Do you feel like we're enough for each other? I feel like we've always been enough for each other."

"Always."

"Of course, it's always been like this, so we've never had to say much about it.. Like to speak about it. It was always just there, right?"

"Right."

Naruto didn't know where Sasuke was going with this, but he didn't want him to stop.

"We've always felt this pleasure just by being together," Sasuke lay back down onto his own pillow, looking up at the ceiling "So what would it be like if we did it together...?"

Naruto choked, eyes widened, he almost gasped at what Sasuke was saying.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at the gasp and chucked one hollow laugh.

".. I just mean, dobe, if we're already whole now, what would it be like if we you know... Did everything together."

Naruto was kind of speechless... He honestly ran a blank.

He understood everything Sasuke was feeling because that's exactly how he felt.

But what he didn't understand was, where was all this coming from?

And what did Itachi say to Sasuke to have him coming so far out of his skin all in one night?

"Sasuke... I just need you to know, I'll never be like everyone else. I don't want anything from you. I just want you. I love you." The blonde took glazed into Sasuke's eyes, filled with so much love for the man before him. He moved his arm for it to be resting lightly on Sasuke's waist.

"I love you too Naruto. I know you don't, want anything.." Sasuke sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, lost in an internal struggle.

And Naruto could feel it.

_Just let it out. Tell me what's going on inside._

"No, Sasuke you don't understand. I love you so much it hurts sometimes." Naruto almost choked out, unable to control what he was feeling anymore.

"It hurts you?" Sasuke turned his head, eye brows furrowed.

"Sasuke …...I've been meaning to tell you something. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it was just... I just need to talk to you..." The blonde pushed himself up and rested on his elbows, head hanging back loosely between his shoulder blades.

Sasuke snorted, "We can talk. Sure.. But, you should probably wash off first dobe." The raven grabbed his pillow from under his head and threw it at the Uzumaki.

Naruto just laughed and stuck out his tongue.

"Go shower, you're gross. Then, we talk."

"Rigghttttt." Naruto snickered, mentally slapped himself. He had almost forgot he needed to clean himself off.

Getting up from his place in the bed , the blonde casually walked towards the bathroom, going in and closing the door behind him.

Not noticing the dark eyes glancing over his person, an unreadable glance. Glassed over eyes.

…...

He couldn't believe what the fuck just happened.

For the day to start of so shitty thinking Sasuke didn't give a shit about him anymore, to him saying stuff like that? Doing stuff like that?

Blowing out a held in breath of air, Naruto pressed his back against the wall.

This was one of the many times Sasuke _did_ reciprocate.

Pulling off his boxers, the blonde pulled an extra towel and wash cloth out from the bottom of the sink. Turning on the shower he stepped in and just stood underneath the warmish hot water, letting it sooth him. Hard drop after drop falling on his skin relieving his stress.

But all he could think about was his day.

"Sasuke."

That whole day just gave him hope that him and Sasuke _could_ actually be together – hope that Sasuke actually _would_ end up feeling the same way Naruto did.

He smiled.

He was so speechless, so happy and so light hearted in that moment. It didn't matter what he was feeling, just one glance or smile or word Sasuke would say to him and it would just turn his mood upside down. It was almost scary the amount of power the raven held over the Uzumaki.

Hurriedly washing his previous dream off of him, Naruto got out of the shower. He didn't want to waste any time.

It was now or never.

He would tell Sasuke what he'd been holding in since forever.

It was time.

Drying off, Uzumaki wrapped the towel around his waist and shagged his fingers through his wet hair, walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom that happened to be empty?

Shrugging his shoulders, Naruto walked over to the dresser to rummage through some of Sasuke's stuff, grabbing some clothes to put on.

… Sliding into a pair of grey and black fitted sweats with stretch elastic at the bottom, and a black fitted tee,

Naruto stilled.

Was that Sasuke outside the door?

He could vaguely hear Sasuke and... Itachi?

What was Itachi doing back? He wasn't supposed to be back for some days.

"Hmm..."

Creeping over to the bedroom door, the blonde stood arms crossed , back pressed against the nearing wall and listened.

Whenever it came to Itachi, Sasuke was bound to get some kind of upset, and Naruto needed to know if this was a situation where he needed to middle in or not - If that the conversation they were having was fine, and he didn't need to get Sasuke out.

" _... It's only a matter of time before he finds out. I can't believe you haven't told him yet."_

_Itachi spoke lightly, as if he was tired and nonchalant._

" _It's not that big of deal..."_

" _You never keep things from Naruto, so why are you keeping this? Don't you think it's his business?"_

" _Itachi, just shut the fuck up and stay out of it okay."_

Naruto's brows furrowed... Keeping what from him? He was starting to feel sick. What was going on?

This wasn't right. This didn't sound right.

Inhaling deepening, the blond held his stomach tight, steadying himself, trying not to make himself sick with overreacting - with panic.

" _Well you and Sakura are going to have an engagement party next weekend to make it known, so I'd rather you tell him now before it gets out." Itachi breathed, before rubbing his hands over his hair taking out the low pony tail._

_Loose brown locks flowed down his shoulders like honey._

That's all Naruto needed to hear before he was rushing away from the door and gathering his stuff to leave. It was almost like slow motion, like everything in his world had stopped and started literally moving upside down.

Like he was in space.

He laughed to himself. He was in too much shock to feel anything else.

He'd deal with these emotions later. He just had to get the hell out of there so he could process what the fuck was going on.

Engagement party? So it was fucking official?

There was a rush building from the bottom of his stomach coming up, and it was a great fucking time to have an anxiety attack.

He could feel tears burning their way up to his eyes, but he fought them back.

He never fucking cried. And he sure wasn't going to waste anymore tears over someone who didn't care for him.

Pulling on his shoes, he tried to steady his body and calm down before he couldn't even move and escape.

The blonde pulled open one of the windows and climbed out into the cold night air onto the small black iron balcony.

A gust of wind gushed almost through him, rustling his clothes and hair in the most rough yet gentle way.

A single tear staining his cheek.

The cold was numbing him.

This was good. This was better.

He could barely feel anything, now.

He laughed.

And maybe it was better that way. Maybe if he was numb on the outside, it would distract him from what he felt on the inside.

Climbing down the front of balcony, Naruto free-fell a short distance onto the dewy grass below.

He lay like that for some time, just letting the cold free him from his ailments – even if it was just for a little while.

Looking up into the sky, the blonde noticed the same constellation that brought him and Sasuke together was out and shinning brighter than ever.

Just fucking perfect.

It's like the universe had it out for him.

If he found one way to feel better, there was always something that happened to make him feel 80x worse.

Getting up from his spot on the grass, Naruto ran.

Ran and never looked back.

Why.

Why was this happening to him.

Step after step reminded him of just how he ran towards Sasuke earlier that day.

With every step came a flash back, and it hurt like every bone in his body was being broken one by one, slowly.

But, except for his bones, ...it was his heart.

So he ran, in the dark, because to him that was a literal explanation of his life at that moment.

Dark and cold.

He ran.

Ran out of Sasuke's estate. Out of his neighborhood, out of Sasuke's life even.

In Naruto's mind, it's like he wasn't even there to begin with. He couldn't have been if they were so easily broken.

All that time they shared, Sasuke didn't say a thing.

It hurt so much.

Like Itachi said, it must've just not been any of Naruto's business.

He finally understood his place, and where he belonged.

And it wasn't anywhere or any place that was nice or good.

This was pain.

This was heartache.


	10. Chapter 10 - What To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note: PLEASE READ**
> 
> Sorry this has taken forever to be posted, just been kind of busy and going through stuff.
> 
> Also, there will be parts of this chapter and probably I will do this sometimes in future chapters, but there are moments in this chapter where I will put name a song, and I want you guys to stop reading and play the song named so you can get a feel of what Naruto felt like in that moment. So read while listening to those songs!
> 
> Also unfortunately,
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING.**
> 
> Sigh. Yes it's come to this. Once it gets to Naruto's POV, you may or may not want to continue to read. If you've been through something and are easily triggered, I will probably post the really in detail version on AO3, and post an edited version on fanfiction. So if you're okay, read the unedited version on here.
> 
> Let's go.
> 
> * * *

**Sasuke's POV**

" _Well you and Sakura are going to have an engagement party next weekend to make it known, so I'd rather you tell him now before it gets out." Itachi breathed, before rubbing his hands over his hair taking out the low pony tail._

_Loose brown locks flowed down his_ _shoulders like honey._

"What the fuck are you talking about Itachi? I never agreed to this." Sasuke's voice rose almost as much as his anger. Clenching his fists tighter he tried his best to maintain his Uchiha calm.

"It needed to be done, Sasuke.." Itachi sighed, turning his back to walk down the stairs.

"Fuck you Itachi how could you ruin my life like this!" Sasuke opened his bedroom door and slammed it behind him.

Sliding down the door his mind raced like wildfire over what had happened in such a short amount of time to change the course of his life like that. He never would've expected his brother to go that far... To do that much.

The raven sat like that with his head resting against the door. He just needed to breathe and calm down.

It was all his own decision in the end, right?

But Itachi had done so much for him...How could Sasuke just let him down like that?

"Dammit," The raven cursed under his breath.

And what did he mean tell Naruto? How could he have told Naruto something he didn't even know until just two seconds ago.

Speaking of Naruto...

Getting up from his place on the ground, Sasuke walked tiredly over to the bathroom door.

He was tired. He just wanted this all to go away.

Naruto.

Naruto was what he needed right then. That's all he ever needed to be honest.

He just wanted to be with his dumb blonde. He didn't want to feel that stress anymore. He just needed Naruto.

Knocking, "Naruto come out please.. I need you..."

No answer.

"Dobe." Sasuke's voice broke under him, twisting the door knob open, only to notice that inside was no one.

Turning his head quickly in confusion, he eyed his room - just noticing that not only was Naruto's stuff gone, but so was he.

And the window was open.

"Fuck."

Running over tho his bedside table, Sasuke grabbed his cell and sped dailed Naruto..

"Answer Dobe"

* * *

**Naruto's POV**

The more he ran, the darker it seemed to become; the colder it seemed to become; the more empty he became.

Cold air and night surrounded him, aiding to his hurt - aiding to his numbness.

Finally reaching his house, Naruto slowed down; he wasn't in a rush.

Movements became slow and rhythmic – like the saddest song you've ever listened to had formed into one moment, formed into one person.

Naruto Uzumaki.

He had made up his mind at this point. He danced in his own sorrow. Breathed in it.

Walking up the stairs, he grimaced. Palm holding tight to the rail, recalling a memory.

He was far enough from Sasuke, is what he originally had planned, originally had thought.

But that wasn't even completely true.

Even though Sasuke wasn't there, they still had shared too many memories in every part of that town. Naruto's place being a prime example.

He remembered the night they accidentally kissed right on those same steps he was standing on.

Closing his eyes tight, Naruto braced himself.

He couldn't fucking escape him.

Unlocking his front door, he slowly closed it behind him, taking off his shoes and walking to the bathroom.

This was so funny. This was fucking hilarious.

The blonde chuckled softly.

There was nothing good left for him anymore. He glanced around his room.

Every space held a memory.

And in that moment he realized something he hadn't noticed before.

He hated himself.

And why would bubbly, happy-go-lucky, inspirational, brightening everyone's day Naruto hate himself?

He hated himself because he wasn't the one who was with Sasuke.

He hated himself because he would never be that person.

He would never be the reason he smiled.

He would never be the one he looked to for comfort when he was sad, or for company when he was happy.

He would never get to spend his intimate time with him, touching him, loving him and being with him.

Sasuke would never look at him that way.

Sasuke would never love him.

He would love someone else.

And that was enough for him to contemplate bad things.

He hated everything about himself because he wasn't her.

That pink haired girl.

But he would never hate her. She had nothing to do with it.

He just hated the fact that he wasn't her. That he was born his unfortunate self.

And he would never be anything like her. She was a girl for fucks sake, how could he?

They were polar opposites in every way even down to personality. He could tell from the first time he saw her at the party.

"Fuck!" The blond rubbed his hands through his hair.

He hated himself more than anything.

"Why am I even alive." he kept thinking to himself.

Why was he even made.

He wished he was never born.

Streaming down his face was what felt like warm acid.

Is this what his heart contained?

Bad thoughts drowned his mind and heart, as he closed his eyes, brows furrowed, holding onto the bathroom door frame for support as he began to break down.

What a time in the world to be alone and have no one care for you.

And he really didn't.

Naruto had no one.

Every day he came home to the same empty house.

And now he lost Sasuke..

There was nothing for him anymore. There was no reason left to be alive.

Silding down to the floor Naruto silently let his feelings escape.

This was too much.

He hated himself so much he couldn't take it.

Opening his eyes, he wiped his tears with the sleeves on – fuck. Sasuke's black shirt...

Pulling the shirt over his head, he held it into his hand and pushed it close to his heart.

This would be the last time.

He wanted to be numb.

Naruto walked on his knees over to the bathroom sink, rummaging through the drawers looking for something good.

Something beautiful that would numb the pain.

Something delicious and something that would never let him down or betray him. Something that would never leave him unloved or left feeling unwanted.

Breaking open the object very carefully not to hurt his fingers, two shiny pieces of metal fell to the floor – calling out his name for skin to be opened.

Blades.

Picking them up with the utmost carefulness, ironically trying not to hurt himself holding them, the blonde pulled out some alcohol pads from his first aid kit and wiped them off - making sure they were clean and pure...

...unlike his disgusting self and soul.

Wrapping the two blades carefully in a paper towel, Naruto carried it into his bedroom.

He walked over to one of his bedside tables, the one on the furthest side of the room, and turned on the lamp, adjusting the brightness so that it gave the room a glow.

It wasn't enough light to brighten the room, but just enough to leave him in darkness - to drown him. He needed it.

This moment needed the darkness.

... because all he felt was sorrow.

His tall dresser sat by the window, blinds open, with just enough of the window open to let a little breeze in.

He needed the cold too. To numb him.

Because what he was about to do would leave him breathless.

The light was coming from the far end of the room, as Naruto went to turnoff the bathroom light.

Walking over to his speakers, the blonde numbly placed a cd in and turned the volume up as high as it could go.

Blaring out of the speakers was It's Myself VS Being A Man by Inhale Exhale.

Walking over to sit up against the wall by his bathroom, Naruto dropped Sasuke's shirt out of his hand, pushing it away from him, and unwrapped the blades from the paper towel.

He felt so bad inside, it hurt too much. He felt such an ache.

This needed to be done.

Stretching out his left arm, the blonde took one blade in his right hand and pressed it to his skin, careful not to slid it just yet.

The song changed to When The Sun Sleeps by Underoath, and that was enough to send him over the edge.

" I thought you'd come back, so I prayed...

Close my eyes, just for tonight. The sun still sleeps, and when she wakes ,you'll be a memory."

Biting his lip, he prepared for what was to come.

Brows furrowed, tears coming down, Naruto stretched his arm out long, pressed the blade down hard on his skin and slid.

"Ahhhhh." His eyes clammed shut, acid ruining his skin, running down his cold cheeks, falling on his bare chest. Bare skin.

Bare arms, dripping acid. Dripping pain.

The burning sensation wrecked his being.

A line of blood forming, and turning into drops rolling down his arm.

"Oh my god." He choked when he looked down at what he'd done.

What was he doing to himself?

"No shut up. It has to be done." He whispered to himself.

It wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough until his self hate subsided.

Firmly holding the blade, Naruto cut again.

"Ughhhh." He watched the blade slice through his skin, tearing it open.

It hurt so much, but what he felt inside hurt even worse.

He dragged the blade again and again. Reveling in the hurtful, burning sensation that somehow seemed to ease his pain. It made him feel lighter, if even for a moment.

"Because maybe if you feel pain on the outside, it'll numb the pain on the inside."

Blood poured all down his arm, "fuck,"

he used the previous paper towel to try to wipe it up, but the first cut he did was so deep it wouldn't stop bleeding, so he just held his hand over it, with his head against the wall and eyes closed.

Just listening to the music, with a cold breeze blowing through his room, making him almost shiver.

And for once he actually felt like he could make it through.

Just maybe.

Sitting like that for some time, the blonde lifted up the paper towel noting the blood had started to scab over.

He sighed, getting up Naruto went to fetch an alcohol pad from the first aid kit and wiped his arm down.

"What a day." He sniffed, whipping his wet face with the back of his right hand.

Walking into the bathroom, the blond got another paper towel and held it onto his arm, going over to the bed and climbing inside.

He had closed his eyes for a split moment to finally rest, before he felt his phone buzzing.

Grabbing it out of his back pocket, he noted a few missed calls from Sasuke.

He almost choked. But it wasn't good choke, it was a pained one.

Like what was the point, at this point?

If he never loved him, if he didn't care about him, what was the point.

It was all just deceit. Maybe not on purpose - he would never accuse Sasuke of anything, but he sure hadn't been honest about it.

It was like he was hiding something.

Naruto wasn't being a hypocrite, he knew he wasn't honest either, but it wasn't the same thing.

He was so angry. Just angry at life in general. And so hurt.

"...'M sorry Sasuke, it's too late." The blonde said sadly, tiredness drenching his voice, as he put his phone on the night table and closed his eyes to go to sleep.

At least maybe for once he could sleep.

…...

A ringing woke Naruto up, yawning he stretched checking for the sound and it was his phone..

He internally wished and hoped to hell it wasn't Sasuke. He wasn't cocky or anything – knowing that Sasuke would call or try to reach him. It was just normally how their relationship worked..

"..Before all of this started happening."

The blonde just couldn't deal right now.

Every time he thought of Sasuke he just, he hated himself so much and – he just couldn't deal with that so early in the morning. He wanted to at least _try_ to _live_ that day.

Looking at his phone, he sighed relieved – it was just his alarm.

This was the last year of school and being out for all those days had really put a toll on his record. He really needed to make it up and do a little extra credit even. Naruto _had_ to graduate this year and move the hell on.

Getting up he rubbed his eyes, wincing when he felt the taut feeling on his left arm, almost ripping and a burning from moving his arm around the wrong way.

He had almost forget what he'd done last night.

He sighed. Feeling a little remorse, a little regret.

But he'd deal with that later.

Looking down at his arm, he laughed.

In a weird way it was actually pretty beautiful. The redness of it, made him feel alive. Like even though he felt so dead inside, this was a reminder that he was alive. So bright and red.

If anything, this was one thing that was worthwhile about him. The only thing he could like about himself.

Getting up, he began to prepare himself for school, when he abruptly saw a text from Jiraya telling him to check outside in an hour.

He snorted, twisting his eye brows in confusion.

Whatever the hell that was all about...

…...

Finishing up, the blond checked himself in the mirror, tugging down his sleeves an extra three times, he sighed. This was going to be hell to keep up with and hide.

What had his life come to.

Sighing.

Grabbing his keys and backpack off of his desk chair, Naruto walked out of the door locking it on his way out.

And there it was, he froze.

HIS TRUCK. It was fixed and shiny and sitting perfectly in his little parking area.

Naruto smiled "Pervy sage."

…...

***Sleepover by Hailey Kiyoko**

Arriving at school, the blond parked, and put his hood over his head.

This was going to be a trying as hell day.

Grabbing the keys out of the ignition, Naruto reached over to the back seat and grabbed his backpack and exited his truck.

Fixing his hoodie more over his head, the blonde slung his bag over his right shoulder and put his head down. He was glad it was a cloudy cold day. He was glad it was November.

Now all he had to do was think of how he was going to avoid Sasuke for the rest of the day.

He just couldn't bare seeing his face.

He loved it too much.

And his eyes.

He needed them so much.

But he could never have them right?

"Fuck life."

Walking past the crowd of kids to get inside, Naruto kept his head down but kept his eyes open and surveying the area. Just to be safe.

It wouldn't have been that hard, to avoid him, considering Sasuke was an honors student.

They didn't exactly run in the same classes, but they did always make time for each other. And sometimes Sasuke would take the same classes as Naruto, just because.

That was certain. They'd always end up together. That's why people always called them two peas in the same pod.

There was just one thought racing the blonde's mind.

: That it wasn't Sasuke's fault that he all of sudden got feelings for him, and it wasn't his fault that he hated himself.

So when would it ever be fair to just start avoiding him out of the blue? That would be so mean and heartless without a reason.

So he couldn't necessarily avoid him...

Walking through the halls, reaching his first class, the blonde lifted his head up, classroom light hitting his ice blue eyes making them glisten, and walked through the open door.

"What to do. What to do."

 


	11. Confession?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> WOOOW I'm so sorry I haven't updated in months LMAO. I'm still working on this fic don't worry. I moved to Maryland now and am going to college (which is why I've been to busy to update) but finals is here so I promise if not every week I'LL TRY to update every other week! I love you guys I hope you're still interested in reading lmao. Also, if anyone is on discord I made a discord server (group) for any SNS fans so if you guys want to join just to share pics and other fics you guys like or just to be a sns community feel free to join (REMOVE Parentheses). Also sorry about any typos etc! enjoy  
> (discord)(.gg)(/TnKBM)

Sasuke's POV

Sasuke Uchiha awoke with sadness. Eyes open before his alarm even sounded.

He had always been the type to not rely on things. He didn't rely on his alarm to wake up him. He didn't rely on his teachers too much for him to get a good grade in his classes. He didn't rely on his brother to do things for him – he always tried to be independent no matter what.

But one thing he did rely on was Naruto.

Naruto was out of reach for some reason, and ever since the prior night – the raven hadn't heard from him. He didn't even know what the reason for the blonde's disappearance was that night. It was fucking worrisome.

He wasn't stupid enough to think that "oh maybe something bad happened to him." Sasuke wasn't naive. Konoha was one of the safest cities in the Land of Fire. But he had noticed, ever since the blonde had found out about his apparent "thing" with Sakura, he had been acting distant.

Onyx eyes looked up at the ceiling, eyes glaring hard enough to burn a hole through it. A pale chest exposed, comforter placed right above a tight abdomen. Sasuke glanced to see the time on the clock.

4am.

2 hours too early to be up and hurting.

To be up and anxious, and tired, and worried, and angry.

Eyes closed to an early morning air. A calmness surrounding him playing toy with the disarray that was going on inside. Sasuke closed his eyes to sleep. He would deal with this when he had to.

Blue breeze settled softly on his forehead wisping slightly his bangs.

Two hours. "Two hours, Naruto."

Naruto's POV

You would've thought by the blue eyes that stared at the board, the hand placed hard under his chin, caressing his face. You would've thought Naruto Uzumaki was paying the utmost attention to his class. But my dear, you are sadly mistaken.

Naruto couldn't concentrate. Thoughts raced his mind about what the hell to do.

He knew what he had to do, on one hand, but on the other hand he knew that he couldn't hurt himself worse.

But he couldn't hurt Sasuke either.

Blowing out a held in breath, Naruto realized he finally came to a decision.

A loud bell shook Naruto out of his racing thoughts, a smiling teacher looking very pleased at how "attentive" Naruto seemed, met eyes with the blonde, the blonde glanced back, furrowed his brows and tried to paint a smile across his face, only ending up looking very humorously confused – confused as to why that teacher was looking at him like that.

He was aching so much inside.

Crowds of kids rushed passed Naruto on his way out, and down the hall, but it all seemed like slow motion. Naruto hated this. He hated after all these years he was going back to the way it was. Back to pretending and faking it. But this is what it took for him to man the fuck up, he supposed.

This is what it took for him to care and love Sasuke.

If he loved him the way he knew he did, he could never ignore him. He could never. He could never fucking hurt his best friend. His heart.

Moving along with the crowd on his way to his next class, Naruto picked up his phone and sent a text.

Sighing, he walked over to rest his back, leaning up against the same room where it all started.

He'd get through this.

Sasuke's Pov

"Itachi I swear to fucking God!" Sasuke was shaking at this point, trying to grab his things and rush out of the door.

Hands trembling, hair a mess – the raven ran out, leaving his brother mid-sentence – mouth agape.

A door swung open, letting cold air in and an anxious ridden raven, full of disarray, out.

"Foolish little brother."

Sasuke exited his class, still shook up about what Itachi had said to him earlier.

Walking down the hallway, eyes of girls and guys found their way onto him. But he ignored everything.

He never cared for ones who only addressed him because of his family or because of his money or because of his looks.

He walked down the hallway and just remembered the last thing his brother told him...

"I moved the engagement to tomorrow. This is what's best for you."

He blurred everything else out.

The raven's body started shaking at just the sudden onset of emotions that poured out from one memory. But that memory was going to be a change in his life.

Possibly.

He wondered to himself, -why couldn't he stop this. ?

He wondered to himself, -what was the reason this was such a bad idea? – what was the reason behind why he wanted to end this? And what was the reason why he couldn't?

A soft tone escaped from his pocket - pulling it out, it raven exhaled slowly and paused in his steps.

"Meet me at our place..."

Pale thin lips slowly parted,

"Naruto."

Naruto, lost in thought didn't notice when the raven appeared at the end of the hallway. Only the thump of soft footsteps broke him out of his thoughts as he glanced his eyes over to see Sasuke, his body kept still in motion.

Just seeing Sasuke's face fucked him up so bad and gave him an ache in his stomach.

It hurt so much he had to look away, but it felt so good he couldn't stop looking.

"I got your text." Sasuke started.

Naruto put his head down and slowly pulled away from the wall.

Without uttering words, the blonde moved to go inside of the famous room.

Room 63.

Without saying another word, Sasuke just followed behind – closing the door behind them as they entered.

Standing back towards Sasuke, the blonde stood at the windows. Peering out. Looking as if he was searching for something. But really, he was just searching for the right words.

"Sasuke... I uh..." Naruto rubbed his hands together, not out of anxiety, but out of carefulness. Naruto was the last person to think carefully of his words, he was usually extremely blunt and straightforward. But something about this love. Something about this feeling. Something about looking at the face of the only person you will ever need. It scared the shit out of him...

A warm hand appeared on Naruto's shoulder, a warm sun shining on a bright blue-eyed boy who turned to look into the warm eyes of a Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto's breath was taken away, as a voice inside him screamed to just spit it out. Sasuke's mouth formed a slight almost invisble smile as his lips parted -

"Naruto, I love you."


End file.
